IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays animal experiments are widely used to develop new medicines and to test the safety of other products. Some people argue that these experiments should be banned because it is morally wrong to cause animals to suffer, while others are in favour of them because of their benefits to humanity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#experiments #medicines #test #safety #products #people #animals #favour #humanity
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Many people believe that experiments that involve animals are morally wrong.
On the other hand
, other people think that these examinations are very important
due to
 the scientific and health progress. Personally, I think that these operations should be carried out with animals because of
its
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the
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 danger. A large part of the population
disagree
Correct subject-verb agreement
disagrees
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 with the idea of experimenting with non-human creatures, they justify that it is morally wrong to experiment with them for
a
Correct article usage
apply
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human benefit and that humans believe that they are superior for the simple fact of being intelligent beings.
This
 community
also
 believes that wild creatures have rights as important as
the
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apply
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human ones and it is not
for
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apply
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only not being
human-being
Correct your spelling
human
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 that they should feel the pain of taking part in scientific research that can lead to death.
For example
, an experiment done by two
argentines
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Argentines
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 scientists
called
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Diego Simeone and Julian Alvarez, has been sued by an animal protection activist group.
While
 these activists do not stop fighting, there is a public that totally agrees with these analyses. In fact, they claim that
due to
 its danger, trying it before with other creatures is the best option,
this
 is to say, they think that as an intelligent being with family, friends and feelings, it is less morally correct to search with it.
In addition
, an important argument that they transmit is that all these analyses are made for a good cause and to
prevent
Verb problem
protect
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 the population
of
Change preposition
from
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 many diseases.
For instance
, the London Laboratories, say that diseases
such
 as rabies or chickenpox have been slowed down for humans thanks to vaccines made in these observations.
To conclude
, even if there are many people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 believe that wild beings should have the same living rights as bipedal ones, I think that it is always better to see first how it works with these beasts.
Submitted by santos_dij on

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task achievement
Try to use more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This will enhance the clarity of your task achievement and provide a deeper understanding for the reader.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is logically structured, consider using clearer transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow. This will help readers follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
You clearly address both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view, which effectively covers the task's requirements.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which help frame your argument well.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Ethics
  • Morality
  • Vivisection
  • In vivo testing
  • Cruelty-free
  • Animal welfare
  • Biomedical research
  • Toxicology
  • Sentience
  • Compassionate
  • Humane
  • Speciesism
  • In vitro
  • Alternative methods
  • Pharmacology
  • Clinical trials
  • Bioethics
  • Animal rights
  • Pain threshold
  • Efficacy
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