New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Advent
of Add an article
The advent
technology
has created lots of Use synonyms
option
for Fix the agreement mistake
options
children
to spend their Use synonyms
time
on them. gadgets like Use synonyms
videogames
, Correct your spelling
video games
social
media Correct word choice
and social
has
really changed the way they spend their Correct subject-verb agreement
have
time
. Use synonyms
As a result
, Linking Words
lot
of drawbacks Correct article usage
a lot
has stated reflecting
in their Wrong verb form
have been reflected
lives
. Being Use synonyms
tech savvy
is considered good for Add a hyphen
tech-savvy
children
, but it has Use synonyms
own
demerits.
The main advantage of Correct pronoun usage
its own
children
spending their spare Use synonyms
time
on new Use synonyms
technology
is that they become quick Use synonyms
learner
and adapt Fix the agreement mistake
learners
innovation
in their Change preposition
to innovation
life
early on. It develops their cognitive abilities and Fix the agreement mistake
lives
enhance
their mental strength. Change the verb form
enhances
Furthermore
, In free Linking Words
time
spending Use synonyms
time
on mobile, internet Use synonyms
boost
learning abilities. To illustrate, YouTube has become Correct subject-verb agreement
boosts
new
mode of learning for Add an article
the new
a new
children
across the globe.
Use synonyms
However
, spending Linking Words
time
on Use synonyms
latest
technologies can prove detrimental for Correct article usage
the latest
children
too . excessive use of Use synonyms
technology
Use synonyms
result
in addiction Fix the agreement mistake
results
for
Change preposition
to
internet
, Correct article usage
the internet
mobile
. It Correct word choice
and mobile
also
leads to depression and isolation among youngsters. To epitome, most Linking Words
children
spend their Use synonyms
time
on social media and start comparing their Use synonyms
life
with other people. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
This
can lead to depression and isolation as people Linking Words
started
posting on Instagram, Wrong verb form
start
Correct word choice
and facebook
facebook
is part of their Capitalize word
Facebook
lives
. Use synonyms
Moreover
, Linking Words
technology
proves to hindrance for them if it is not used properly. Trolling , Use synonyms
catfishing
become part of their Correct word choice
and catfishing
lives
. Addiction Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
technology
proves to be risky for them.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
Although
Linking Words
technology
is Use synonyms
important
part of Add an article
an important
live
. Use of it should be monitored as it can create Replace the word
life
problem
later in their Fix the agreement mistake
problems
lives
. Use synonyms
Technology
should be used wisely by Use synonyms
children
. Excessive use of anything will prove detrimental Use synonyms
for
them.Change preposition
to
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Your essay lacks a well-defined structure which leads to a loosely connected flow of ideas. An examiner needs to see a clearly articulated introduction with a thesis statement, well-developed body paragraphs with topic sentences that are expanded upon, and a conclusion that succinctly summarizes the argument and restates the thesis.
task achievement
Your essay should address all parts of the task effectively. You have attempted to discuss both advantages and disadvantages, but the points raised need to be developed further with more specific and detailed examples to reinforce your argument. Additionally, you should aim to present a balanced view when asked whether advantages outweigh disadvantages, including a more thorough analysis and a reasoned conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.