More and more people are using computers and electric devices to access information, so there is no need for printed books, magazines and newspaper. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #computers #devices #access #information #books #magazines #newspaper

These days,

people

rely on electronic devices to gain

information

due to

their convenience.

Therefore

, some believe that there is no more urgency to use paper-based books, magazines, and newspapers. I agree with the view as I believe that technology brings many benefits compared to the traditional method.

Firstly

, there are several electronic devices,

such

as mobile phones or tablets, which are designed to be portable.

Therefore

people

can carry these devices anywhere, and

this

facilitates device users to obtain

information

through their gadgets easily wherever they are. As an illustration, some

people

spend their time studying through YouTube

while

commuting, whether they are on a bus, in a car, or anywhere else.

This

adaptability shows how technology can transform the way we learn, seamlessly integrating it into different parts of our lives.

Secondly

, printed books, magazines, or newspapers are not able to provide instant updates. For

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

context, globalization has increased the speed of data and

information

dissemination.

Consequently

, the

information

people

get now might be different five hours later.

This

disruption is not anticipated by paper-based resources.

For instance

, numerous online media outlets provide real-time traffic updates on the internet. The use of technology allows users to access

this

information

as quickly as possible. In conclusion, I believe that the utilization of electronic tools undoubtedly brings many advantages for

people

in terms of acquiring new

information

, specifically the latest updates.

In addition

, it helps users to access a wealth of knowledge anytime and anywhere.

As a result

, printed materials are no longer necessary.

Submitted by floriehendr on Wed Dec 20 2023

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task achievement

Make sure to offer a balanced argument when discussing 'to what extent' you agree or disagree. This could include acknowledging counterarguments, even if you ultimately refute them in favor of your own viewpoint.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be well developed with supporting details. The essay somewhat achieves this, although development of ideas could be improved.

coherence and cohesion

The use of logical connectors and appropriate paragraphing is crucial for the flow of your essay. Include a variety of cohesive devices and topic sentences, and ensure these are used accurately to clearly address the task.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

255 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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More and more people are using computers and electric devices to access information, so there is no need for printed books, magazines and newspaper. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Language teachers should concentrate on giving positive feedback to students when they do good work, rather than on criticising bad work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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