IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, it is contended that an individual must make risky judgments in terms of career and personal life choices. Personally, I believe that the benefits of taking risks heavily outweigh its setbacks. Despite its potential to lead to failure without previous consideration, people should be encouraged to get out of their safe zones for bigger opportunities.
Firstly
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, making borderline resolutions without careful determination will result in insufferable losses and failures.
For example
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, the NFT and cryptocurrency holders who bought the assets at their peak prices felt frustrated during their major downfalls. Most of these folks, particularly youngsters, were easily affected by significant figures' success stories by investing in volatile and regulated instruments.
Therefore
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, risky moves without prior costs and benefits analysis will lead to unwanted and inconvenient circumstances.
On the other hand
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, taking risks will expose people to bigger opportunities, especially in professional settings.
For instance
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, small business owners who accept difficult orders will successfully grow their businesses if they are able to deliver them. Many businessmen expand their projects by constantly challenging themselves to step up their games.
Thus
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, verdicts with various and dangerous uncertainties can lead people to success if they are carefully assessed and mitigated.
To conclude
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, there can be no doubt that involving oneself in risky outcomes is foremost to one's own professional and private lives, a viewpoint that I endorse. There might be possibilitypossibility of failing miserably but using the right and careful approach.
However
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, the bravery to take prospects should be promoted to motivate them to grow stronger as long as it is preceded by cautious consideration.

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introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are present and summarize the principal ideas, but they could be developed further for greater impact. Aim to clearly set the stage for your argument in the introduction and unequivocally state your position.
supported main points
The main points in your essay are supported, but there is room for more specific examples and further exploration of each point to strengthen your argument.
complete response
While the response is complete, offering a more detailed exploration of the topic and including a stronger personal viewpoint would enhance your task achievement. Consider expanding on the implications and possible outcomes related to the risks discussed.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ideas are generally clear and comprehensive, but they lack depth in places. Strive to fully explain each point and avoid superficial statements to provide a more comprehensive understanding of the topic to the reader.
relevant specific examples
You've made a good effort to use relevant examples, however, these should be more specific to effectively back up your points and make your argument more convincing. Avoid generic statements and strive to be more precise in your illustrations.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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