People living in the 21st century enjoy a better standard of living than people in previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, the
World
Change noun form
World's
standards
of living are at a high level. Although
,
a number of Remove the comma
apply
people
think the standards
of living in past were worse than today, I completely agree with those who say that the living standards
of these days are better off due to
advanced technology and science.
One
the one hand, below are some of the reasons why Correct your spelling
On
people
's living standards
were
worse than today. Wrong verb form
are
Firstly
, the value of their money. It is clearly seen that some countries had a low currency exchange of money which would not help them to develop incase
they wanted to carry out any development. Correct your spelling
in case
For example
, if Ugandan currency had been high a few decades ago, Uganda would have been among the rich countries. Secondly
, 40 years ago, poor infrastructure in undeveloped countries increased to poor standards
of living as result
of Add an article
a result
people
not being able to transport their goods to the market places. For instance
, East African nations experienced such
challenges and this
was a hinder
to their development. Replace the word
hindrance
Thus
living standards
became poorer.
On the other hand
, the reasons to
why societies enjoy a better standard of living are as follows. Change preposition
apply
To begin
with, improved technology and science has
contributed so much. Correct subject-verb agreement
have
Whereby
Rephrase
People
people
find it so easy to communicate to
one another when doing business. Change preposition
with
Also
, scientists have also
produced a lot of drugs to treat different illnesses. To illustrate more, Correct article usage
the devlopment
devlopment
of phones and computers has not only simplified communications but Correct your spelling
development
also
increased friendship among nations. Hence
the world
living Change noun form
world's
standards
becoming better.
In conclusion, even though, the standards
of living in past were not good due to
bad roads and low currencies, I believe that today individuals enjoy it because of improvement
in Fix the agreement mistake
improvements
technologies
and I think the government should work hard for more advanced technologies so as the Fix the agreement mistake
technology
standards
can continue to be high.Submitted by jmeeme5 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay has a recognizable structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas could be more logically organized, with clearer topic sentences and transitions between points.
coherence cohesion
Main points are generally supported, but some of the supporting examples provided lack depth or specificity, and there is room for a more detailed explanation to strengthen the arguments.
task achievement
You have addressed the task and taken a clear position on the statement. However, your response would benefit from more varied and complex sentence structures. This could improve the clarity and effectiveness of your arguments.
task achievement
Examples are used to support your points, but they should be more relevant and specific. Try to include concrete and detailed examples that directly support your thesis regarding the improvement in standards of living.