IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People living in the 21st century enjoy a better standard of living than people in previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, the
World
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World's
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standards
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 of living are at a high level.
Although
Linking Words
,
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apply
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 a number of
people
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 think the
standards
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 of living in past were worse than today, I completely agree with those who say that the living
standards
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 of these days are better off
due to
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 advanced technology and science.
One
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On
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 the one hand, below are some of the reasons why
people
Use synonyms
's living
standards
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were
Wrong verb form
are
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 worse than today.
Firstly
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, the value of their money. It is clearly seen that some countries had a low currency exchange of money which would not help them to develop
incase
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in case
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 they wanted to carry out any development.
For example
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, if Ugandan currency had been high a few decades ago, Uganda would have been among the rich countries.
Secondly
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, 40 years ago, poor infrastructure in undeveloped countries increased to poor
standards
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 of living as
result
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a result
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 of
people
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 not being able to transport their goods to the market places.
For instance
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, East African nations experienced
such
Linking Words
 challenges and
this
Linking Words
 was a
hinder
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hindrance
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 to their development.
Thus
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 living
standards
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 became poorer.
On the other hand
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, the reasons
to
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apply
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why societies enjoy a better standard of living are as follows.
To begin
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 with, improved technology and science
has
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have
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 contributed so much.
Whereby
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People
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people
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 find it so easy to communicate
to
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with
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 one another when doing business.
Also
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, scientists have
also
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 produced a lot of drugs to treat different illnesses. To illustrate more,
Correct article usage
the devlopment
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devlopment
Correct your spelling
development
 of phones and computers has not only simplified communications but
also
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 increased friendship among nations.
Hence
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 the
world
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world's
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 living
standards
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 becoming better. In conclusion, even though, the
standards
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 of living in past were not good
due to
Linking Words
 bad roads and low currencies, I believe that today individuals enjoy it because of
improvement
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improvements
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 in
technologies
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technology
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 and I think the government should work hard for more advanced technologies so as the
standards
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 can continue to be high.

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coherence cohesion
The essay has a recognizable structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas could be more logically organized, with clearer topic sentences and transitions between points.
coherence cohesion
Main points are generally supported, but some of the supporting examples provided lack depth or specificity, and there is room for a more detailed explanation to strengthen the arguments.
task achievement
You have addressed the task and taken a clear position on the statement. However, your response would benefit from more varied and complex sentence structures. This could improve the clarity and effectiveness of your arguments.
task achievement
Examples are used to support your points, but they should be more relevant and specific. Try to include concrete and detailed examples that directly support your thesis regarding the improvement in standards of living.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • life expectancy
  • medical treatments
  • technological innovations
  • economic growth
  • average incomes
  • poverty levels
  • access to education
  • human rights
  • environmental cost
  • pollution
  • climate change
  • material wealth
  • psychological concerns
  • isolation
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