The tendency of people to imitate each other is evident in the popularity of fashionable clothes and consumer goods. To what extent do you agree?

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In the modern
world
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world,
show examples
the public has few jobs at the same time. Is it useful for
people
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or
no
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not
show examples
? Experts and
people
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seem to have been discussing
this
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occasion for a long time. Some will agree with the statement,
whereas
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there are opponents of
this
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view.
This
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essay will present my opinion and discuss both sides of the issue. There are some reasons why individuals have more than
one
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job at the same time. First of all, nowadays,
people
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tend to develop their skills. Sometimes, a person can work in the field of medicine and
to
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apply
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be keen on painting. In
one
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moment their hobby will lead to earning
money
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, if a human wants it.
Moreover
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, there are many various
of
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apply
show examples
labors
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labours
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covering different fields.
For instance
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, a person who
able
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is able
show examples
to sing can have
few
Correct article usage
a few
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jobs,
such
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as teaching and singing in a restaurant.
However
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, there are advantages and drawbacks to
have
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having
show examples
several jobs. On the
one
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hand,
due to
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that
people
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broaden
horizons
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their horizons
show examples
and improve
work
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their work
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skills.
In addition
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, they can earn more
money
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. Possibly,
this
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way can help individuals to find
one
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is
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apply
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true vocation.
On the other hand
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, there are some disadvantages to
work
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working
show examples
in several
labors
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labours
show examples
.
People
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can run into burnout, it has a negative effect on mental health. At that, it difficult to keep interest and attention on few things, by doing so
people
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can are not good at certain activity.
According to
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my opinion,
this
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way for talented and
creativity
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creative
show examples
people
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. Not everyone might develop different skills for earning
money
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, possible to focus
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one
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on one
show examples
thing
will
Correct pronoun usage
that will
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be better. All things considered, the obvious conclusion to be drawn is that in the current
Add a comma
word,
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word
Correct your spelling
world
show examples
the public tends to progress and find new ways
making
Change preposition
of making
show examples
money
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
You should ensure your essay directly addresses the question posed and remains on topic throughout. Each paragraph needs to have a clear main idea that relates back to the essay prompt.
task achievement
Develop your arguments further with specific examples and details. This will show a deeper understanding of the topic and provide evidence for your points.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating a clear and logical structure in your writing. This includes having a clear introduction, body paragraphs that flow logically from one to the next, and a concluding paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Link your ideas more clearly using a range of cohesive devices and topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to guide the reader through your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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