In some cultures, children are often told that they can achive anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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Nowadays, some adults teach their children that if they work harder

then

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they will get payback.

This

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way has some benefits and

also

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a few drawbacks, the following content will outline the

explaination

Correct your spelling

explanation

Firstly

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it is clear that

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this

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Change the article

show examples

effective method to encourage

kids

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

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because they will enhance their proficiency

while

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chasing the goal.

For example

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mathematic

Replace the word

mathematics

show examples

lesson is always a complicated problem for students, some of them give up during learning because lack of

inconfidence

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confidence

in confidence

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show examples

their abilities.

However

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, if they believed they

will

Wrong verb form

would

show examples

obtain

better

Add an article

a better

show examples

Fix the agreement mistake

scores

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score

Fix the agreement mistake

scores

show examples

,when they

study

Wrong verb form

studied

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Use synonyms

practice

Wrong verb form

practised

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more,

this

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would

Replace the word

motivate

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motive

Replace the word

motivate

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

them

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they

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

practice

Use synonyms

the lesson harder.

As a result

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, they are willing to learn by themselves.

Nevertheless

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, talent is more important than effort in certain fields,

therefore

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, children might face more failures and lead to

inconfident

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confident

in confident

than previous.

For instance

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, art is a very classic sample, some

kids

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use

Verb problem

spend

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most of their time

Wrong verb form

practising

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practice

Use synonyms

, but

could not

Wrong verb form

cannot

show examples

acquire

better

Add an article

a better

show examples

level.

In contrast

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, a few of them are born

for

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show examples

this

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field, they reach higher

level

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levels

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more rapidly

Change preposition

with

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less

practice

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. At

this

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moment, the former

kids

Use synonyms

could feel frustrated when they understand the gap between them and the latter

kids

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Therefore

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this

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could be an obvious drawback for certain students. In conclusion, the message could encourage people easily, because they believe the final result could be influenced by their effort.

However

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this

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could

also

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be a shortage when people realise their time and energy spent throughout the process could be useless. Personally, I think the ways of teaching need to be

catergorised

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categorised

categorized

to different children

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apply

show examples

and find the appropriate method to teach each of them.

chaoweikevinWed Dec 20 2023

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Coherence & Cohesion

The essay needs a clearer and more coherent structure. Use clear paragraphs, each beginning with a topic sentence that succinctly states the main idea of the paragraph.

Task Achievement

Examples provided should be more detailed and relevant to support the argument better. They could be drawn from a wider range of sources and should be directly related to the point being made.

Coherence & Cohesion

Work on using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.

Task Achievement

Improve on the completeness of the response by addressing all parts of the task more fully and ensuring that both advantages and disadvantages are explored equally.

Task Achievement

Enhance clarity by precisely stating ideas and avoiding generalizations that could make the arguments vague.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Perseverance
Resilience
Self-Esteem
Aspirations
Growth Mindset
Innate Ability
Unrealistic Expectations
Frustration
Disappointment
Pressure
Stress
Overwhelmed
Anxious
External Factors
Inherent Talents
Lofty Goals

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achive anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important enviromental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.

In some countries, owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

In some cultures, children are told they can achieve anything if they work hard. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?