IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, some buildings such as offices and schools have open-space design instead of separate rooms. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#buildings #offices #schools #open-space #design #rooms #development
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In recent years, new trends have rapidly changed
design
 in offices and schools, eventually leading some buildings to adopt
open-space
design
instead
 of divided rooms. In my opinion,
this
 is a negative development which can lead to psychological problems among
employees
 and
spread
 illnesses
issues
. One severe issue that can arise from
open-space
design
 offices is that it can lead to psychological problems among
employees
. When
open-space
design
 appeared on the market,
employees
 faced a lot of psychological
issues
.
For instance
, workers who work in modern
open-space
 facilities have a mental health problem, because their type of character cannot adapt to work among huge quantities of people.
As a result
, the best
employees
 are starting to find a new job just because they cannot avoid stress, which is so harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 their mental health.
Additionally
, psychological problems among
employees
 who work in open
space
Fix the agreement mistake
spaces
show examples
 have become a real problem in the modern era, which can lead to mental diseases
such
 as burnout and procrastination. Another issue is that meeting
employees
 in open
space
Fix the agreement mistake
spaces
show examples
 can be a reason for the
spread
 of illnesses among workers.
In other words
, when there are no separate rooms in facilities, viruses
spread
 really quickly.
For example
, in 2019, almost all big companies which used
open-space
 facilities were forced to provide workers with remote jobs, because COVID-19
spread
 very fast around the world, especially in the
open-space
 offices.
Hence
, many companies partly realized that
open-space
design
 is vulnerable in terms of the
spread
 of illness
issues
. In summary,
while
open-space
design
 has made it easier for companies to monitor employee performance, the numerous
issues
 it has introduced prevent it from being regarded as a beneficial development.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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Task Response
Ensure your essay introduction provides a clear statement on your stand regarding the topic. This helps in setting the tone for the rest of your essay and makes it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
Task Response
Develop your main ideas more thoroughly. While you've introduced relevant points, expanding on these with more detailed examples or explanations could strengthen your argument significantly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on creating a logical flow between paragraphs by using a variety of linking words and phrases. This enhances the readability of your essay and makes your argument more coherent.
Coherence and Cohesion
Conclude your essay effectively by summarizing your main points and reiterating your standpoint. A strong conclusion leaves a lasting impression on the reader.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • open-space design
  • collaboration
  • communication
  • interaction
  • flexible use of space
  • activities and needs
  • creativity
  • innovation
  • spontaneous discussions
  • idea sharing
  • noise levels
  • distractions
  • concentration
  • productivity
  • privacy
  • confidentiality
  • secluded areas
  • private conversations
  • sense of community
  • shared purpose
  • inclusive environment
  • engaging environment
What to do next:
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