The recent popularity of online shopping will result in the end of high street shops. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
These days, virtual shopping is quite popular across the world,
as a result
, small retail shops
and street
shops
will be ended. I strongly agree with this
notion because it provides more varieties
and choices with discounts Fix the agreement mistake
variety
as well as
it saves more time
. This
essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons.
To begin
with, online shopping will be threaten
Change the verb form
be threatened
be threatening
for
Change preposition
apply
the
retail Correct article usage
apply
shops
and it
will be closed because online shipping provides multifarious choices Correct pronoun usage
apply
such
as colours, qualities and reasonable offers to the population across the world, therefore
, people
prefer to buy more products in
online platforms rather than high Change preposition
apply
street
shops
. For example
, Amazon and eBay provide innumerable offers and discounts on special vocations like black Friday while
many product's price
will reduce by half. Change to a plural noun
prices
This
kind of offer and variety of choice are not able to give
by retail Wrong verb form
be given
shops
, hence
high street
shops
will be closed by virtual stores.
Furthermore
, online shopping platforms that
can Correct pronoun usage
apply
be saved
Wrong verb form
save
people
's time
from direct shopping. These days, folks do not have more
Correct quantifier usage
much
time
for shopping while
they can purchase products from online shopping in everywhere Correct word choice
apply
from
the world. It is more convenient and comfortable for the individuals. Change preposition
apply
For instance
, Indian people
buy enormous things from online shopping instead
of direct shopping, consequently
, many street
stores have closed already due to
increasing online shopping addiction. It is proven that this
situation will continue in the future high street
shops
will be closed rapidly.
To conclude
, people
are buying enormous things from online shopping because it provides multifarious choices with discounts and it
saves more Correct pronoun usage
apply
time
from
direct shopping but Change preposition
than
this
kind of online shopping will be Correct article usage
a threaten
threaten
Replace the word
threat
for
small retail stores and high Change preposition
to
street
shops
certainly
. Rephrase
apply
Hence
, I strongly agree with this
statement in the above-mentioned details. I hope this
drive brings more unemployment among local vendors.Submitted by reanudeepan on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a basic logical structure, but it falls short on presenting clear introductory and concluding paragraphs. An effective essay should begin with a clear thesis statement that outlines the topic and your stance, followed by cohesive paragraphs that support your argument. The conclusion needs to succinctly summarize the key points made within the body and restate your stance, providing a clear end to your discussion. Aim to create distinct introductory and concluding sections that perform these functions coherently.
task achievement
You managed to complete the task by providing an argument in agreement with the given statement. However, your ideas could be more comprehensively developed and expressed more clearly. The essay should include a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument, even if your position is one-sided, and should do so in a way that is easy to follow. Consider refining your key points by fully developing each argument with well-structured supporting sentences. This will enhance clarity and convey a comprehensive understanding of the topic at hand.