Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people,while othersbelieve that the purpose of museums is to educate.Discuss both views and give your openion.

#people #museums #places #othersbelieve #purpose #openion

Nowadays

museums

are an integral part of the societies.Many believe that

museums

should be entertainment points,

while

others think that the only purpose of

museums

is to educate

people

. I agree with the latter view.The reasons which support my point are the connection between past and present,a

place

to learn about old civilizations and learn about artefacts,these all points help

people

to learn rather than entertain.These arguments will prove

this

Firstly

museums

are the places which connect

people

from

Change preposition

with

show examples

their ancestors.It is generally believed that

museums

help them to learn from their past and improve themselves.

For instance

,in the London

Museum

people

learn how their forefathers ignited fire from stones.

Therefore

this

connection between past and present helps

people

to improve in various fields,

this

happens in

museums

Secondly

museums

educate them about different artefacts,which are important to them.It is considered that they learn in the

museum

,how to preserve them.So,

museums

should be a

place

to educate

people

because they do not learn about these things in any other

place

On the other hand

,a group of

people

believe that it should be a part of entertainment point.A long week tires

people

badly.A

museum

should be there to help them

unwindind themselves

Verb problem

unwind

show examples

In other words

,the

museum

might work as a recreational

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

Museums

are the only places left behind in

socities

Correct your spelling

societies

which can be

Change the article

show examples

entertainment point.So,

museums

should

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

work as amusement

center

Fix the agreement mistake

centers

show examples

as well. In my opinion,the

museum

should be a

place

to educate

people

.But it should not be too strict.There should be a little room for amusement. In conclusion,

museums

are the places,where

people

connect themselves to their past ,

learn

Correct word choice

and learn

show examples

about artefacts and past civilizations.The main purpose of

museums

should be to educate

people

Submitted by jamalashraf45 on Wed Dec 20 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear logical progression by structuring it into distinct paragraphs with clear topic sentences for each paragraph. Maintain consistency and cohesion by using linking words and referencing ideas appropriately throughout your essay.

task achievement

Fully address all parts of the task by discussing both views equally and providing a balanced argument before stating your own opinion. Your conclusion should summarize your main points and reiterate your personal stance without introducing new information.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

275 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Interactive exhibits
Multimedia displays
Themed events
Cultural heritage
Educational programs
Historical awareness
Learning opportunities
Traditional classrooms
Hybrid approaches
Educational games
Hands-on workshops
Immersive storytelling
Target audiences
Footfall
Revenue generation

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Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people,while othersbelieve that the purpose of museums is to educate.Discuss both views and give your openion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The world's resources are being consumed at an ever-increased rate. What are the dangers of this situation? What should we do?

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