Social media enable people to keep in touch with each other and learn about the news. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Owing to platforms individuals can share anything with each other and they will know what
happen
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is happening
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in the world so they might be more
wareness
Correct your spelling
aware
.
Linking Words
This
Correct determiner usage
The
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positives of
this
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statement
is
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apply
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outweigh its drawbacks. In
this
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essay
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essay,
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I will explore both
negative
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the negative
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and positive of
this
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point. The most and foremost
advantages
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advantage
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is that there will be more useful channels that society can follow and learn
by
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with
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aclick
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click
a click
what ever
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whatever
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they want with uncountable channels.
Thor
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For
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instance, telegram and instregram have
seen
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been seen
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more
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as more
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useful and
worth
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worthwhile
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platform
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platforms
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.
Additionally
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, social media help us to communicate with other
people
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if they are friends, family or even
if
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apply
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from other countries, so because of that they might
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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learn about other
cultural
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cultures
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.
As a consequence
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,
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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two
positive
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positives
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have been supporting individuals to be more
intelegent
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intelligent
due to
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their learning. Perhaps these advantages are more
convince
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convincing
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. Turning to
drawbacks
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the drawbacks
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of social media. Learning appealing behavior from these new
well_ known
Correct your spelling
well-known
people
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.to be more precise
people
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follow these
people
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and they will do the same so they will affect them in a bad way and they might have
unsecsseful
Correct article usage
an unsecsseful
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future.
Secondly
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,
people
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nowadays spend in less hours in front of these channels so they damage their health.  In conclusion. I tend to aside
of
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that
show examples
social media has more
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
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than disadvantages. Learning and
communicate
Wrong verb form
communicating
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have
Verb problem
are
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more
a
Correct article usage
apply
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valuable
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days.
Submitted by fatima1173 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear logical structure by presenting ideas in a more organized manner. Use paragraphs effectively, grouping similar ideas together and ensuring that one paragraph flows to the next coherently.
Coherence & Cohesion
Include an introduction and conclusion that clearly state your position and summarize the key points of the essay. The introduction and conclusion were present but need to better outline the main argument and the overall stance of the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples. Where relevant, include statistics, anecdotes, or evidence that reinforce your arguments. The essay lacked specificity in the examples provided.
Task Achievement
Complete the task by fully addressing all parts of the prompt. Your response must cover the advantages and disadvantages of social media equally and conclude with a reasoned argument.
Task Achievement
Present clear and comprehensive ideas in your essay. While pros and cons were mentioned, the points were not thoroughly developed, and ideas were not always conveyed with clarity.
Task Achievement
Include relevant and specific examples to support each idea. Your essay should provide concrete examples to illustrate the advantages and disadvantages discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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