IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people believe that the government should spend more money putting in more works of art like paintings and statues in cities to make them better places to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #works #art #paintings #statues #cities #places
In contemporary urban landscapes, street
art
 has emerged as a ubiquitous form of expression, enriching cities with its creative vitality. Advocates argue that governments should allocate funds to support artists, enhancing the cultural fabric of urban spaces.
This
 essay concurs with
this
 perspective, asserting that investing in public
art
 projects is essential for fostering cultural vibrancy and economic growth.
Firstly
, the creation of
art
 demands significant dedication and skill. Artists invest countless hours honing their craft, meticulously planning and executing their vision. Consider the monumental effort required to sculpt a large statue or paint a vibrant mural;
such
endeavors
Change the spelling
endeavours
show examples
 deserve recognition and support. By compensating artists for their contributions, governments demonstrate their appreciation for the intrinsic value of
art
 and the
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 invested in its creation.
Moreover
, public
art
 serves as a catalyst for economic development and tourism.
Art
 installations become focal points of interest, attracting both locals and visitors alike. The presence of captivating artworks stimulates cultural tourism, bolstering local economies and creating employment opportunities.
Furthermore
, public
art
 fosters community engagement and pride, strengthening social cohesion and enhancing the
overall
 quality of urban life. In conclusion, government funding for public
art
 projects is essential for nurturing artistic talent, enriching cultural experiences, and driving economic growth. By investing in the arts, governments can create more inclusive and dynamic urban environments, where creativity thrives and communities flourish. It is imperative for policymakers to recognize the profound impact of
art
 on society and allocate resources
accordingly
 to ensure its continued prosperity and growth.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
To further enhance your essay, consider weaving more specific examples into your argument. While the essay effectively outlines the benefits of public art for communities and economies, citing particular instances or studies could strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a strong logical structure and excellent use of paragraphing to organize ideas. However, to achieve the highest marks, ensure each paragraph not only introduces a new idea but also directly correlates to the central thesis throughout, for enhanced coherence.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively executed, clearly presenting your viewpoint and summarizing the key arguments compellingly.
task achievement
Your essay successfully addresses the prompt, providing a well-reasoned argument in favor of government funding for public art projects.
language
Your use of sophisticated language and varied sentence structures contributes significantly to the readability and engagement of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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