Some people think the increasing use of technology in the workplace is good for young people's prospects of gaining a job and harder for old people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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As internet technology advances globally, more companies are adopting various digital techniques in workplaces to boost their productivity and performance.

However

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this

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also

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leads to a controversial debate around its impact on the job market. Some argue that it introduces an age threshold in the recruitment process, prioritising younger workers and disadvantaging older individuals. From my perspective, I believe that we should have a balanced mix of employees of different ages to ensure the functioning of the companies. First and foremost, empowering younger employees and reinforcing the use of technology is of great benefit. Many job roles today require proficiency in specific software and digital platforms. Younger employees are more likely to be familiar with the software, thereby giving them advantages. They can be more creative and have the skillsets to utilise technologies to innovate and create new things.

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is vital for many big corporations, helping them to advance their products and invent new designs. Take Apple

for example

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, without those young IT graduates, iPhones would not have been invented and the company would not have gained much profit as well.

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, it is evident that we need younger teams and technologies in the workforce.

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this

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is not to say that older workers are useless. In fact, they are crucial for the management of our workplaces.

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it can be more challenging and take

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time for them to use digital software at work, they have more contextual experiences than the younger generation. They can help establish leadership and be accountable as role models in the firm to guide younger workers towards the goal.

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, it is undeniable that senior members have fundamental roles in the company. In summary, it is vital to maintain age diversity in the workplace, as we need people of different ages to collaborate and create greater innovation. With different perspectives joining together, it enhances problem-solving and creativity in the company, which ultimately boosts the prospective future of the institute.

robbieyan666Sun Jan 19 2025

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coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence and cohesion, you could focus on refining the transitions between your main points. Ensure each paragraph smoothly leads to the next, highlighting a clear progression in your argumentation.

task achievement

Enhance task response by providing more real-world examples or statistics that further justify the points made about young and older employees. This can strengthen your argument and provide more depth.

task achievement

The essay clearly responds to the prompt by discussing both perspectives related to the impact of technology on young and older people in the workplace.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. This organization aids in maintaining reader engagement and comprehension.

task achievement

The example of Apple and iPhones is a good real-world illustration that supports your argument effectively.

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meeting the goal of 7 or more
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meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

326 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

proficiency
adept
digital platforms
technological advancements
training and development programs
workplace diversity
innovation
productivity
perspectives
problem-solving

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Some people claim that the goal of education is to create individuals useful for society, while others believe that realizing our own dreams must be the key to education. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the government is responsible for crime prevention. Others think that it is individuals responsibility to protect themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.