IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when travelling, etc.). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?

#information #technology #people #work #workplace #e #g #home #mobility
Mobile technology has become an integral part of our lives, and the existence of mobile phones, laptops and iPads has altered the way many
people
work
. While there are distinct advantages to
this
, it is important to guard against
Correct your spelling
overuse
show examples
over use
Correct your spelling
overuse
show examples
 and possible detrimental effects on health and relationships. One of the biggest benefits of mobile technology is that
people
 no longer have to
work
 in an office. In fact, many businesses now permit their staff to
work
 from home on some days of the week.
This
 Is particularly helpful for busy parents; it can reduce stress levels and help
people
 manage their daily lives better. Another benefit for many
people
 and businesses is that
work
 can continue outside the office. Phone calls can be made almost anywhere and documents can be read or written on public transport or in cafes.
This
 is extremely beneficial for
people
 who have long trips to
work
. Despite the advantages mentioned above, care must be taken to ensure that the convenience of ‘teleworking’ does not lead to more hours on the lob and less time spent doing exercise or being with friends and family. No one would deny that it is wonderful to be able to
work
 from home, but a person who spends too much time on their computer may find that their health suffers in the long run. On the whole, most
people
 profit from the use of mobile technology, and there are obvious advantages to its use.
However
, we need to keep an eye on how much we rely on
this
 resource,
otherwise
Add a comma
,otherwise
show examples
 the disadvantages will be greater for everyone.
Submitted by minhthuanfire on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!