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It has been suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#children #vegetables #animals #outweigh
It has been stated that children at
primary
Correct article usage
the primary
show examples
 school level should be taught about the art of vegetable growing and taking
care
 of animals. In
this
 essay, I will discuss why the pros outweigh the cons
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 notion and form a conclusion.
Firstly
, when the young are in primary educational facilities it is fundamental that they are taught skills that will benefit them well into their adult lives.
Such
 skills,
such
 as responsibility and time management can be demonstrated through the growth of produce. In order for
such
 food to survive they must be watered on a regular basis, which is the sole responsibility of the child.
Furthermore
, responsibility and
appropriate
Correct article usage
an appropriate
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 level of
care giving
Correct your spelling
caregiving
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 are needed in many occupations,
thus
 aiding the youth in their future careers.
Secondly
, pets are notoriously difficult to keep and require hours of patience and endurance.
This
 is
due to
, the hours they need to be fed, washed and taken
care
 of. Again, animal keeping is another way in which children learn mannerisms , like endurance and
pererverance
Correct your spelling
perseverance
, which will be used in later life.
On the other hand
, focusing
soley
Correct your spelling
solely
 on the
nuturing
Correct your spelling
nurturing
 of vegetation or creature upbringing can lead to the neglect of other subjects.
For instance
, the youth may view these activities as more fun and pay more time and attention to
such
 avenues rather than completing their maths homework.
Conversely
, they may grow bored or lose attraction
in
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to
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such
 hobbies in a short matter of time.
This
 means that
,
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apply
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 they will end up neglecting these creative outlets and search for new attractive avenues
instead
.
Additionally
, they may hold the expectation that their parents will take
care
 of their belongings
instead
. In conclusion, there are more advantages
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 cultivating produce and pets,
such
 as
perserverance
Correct your spelling
perseverance
 and ownership compared to disadvantages.
Submitted by abeera2012 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay shows some ability to organize ideas but lacks clear progression in some parts. It would benefit from better paragraph structuring and clearer transitions between points.
task achievement
The response to the task is somewhat adequate but was not effectively expanded upon with specific examples or evidence. For a higher score, ensure each point is supported with clear, relevant examples and that the response thoroughly addresses all parts of the prompt.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • primary children
  • grow vegetables
  • keep animals
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • practical skills development
  • environmental awareness
  • health benefits
  • instilling responsibility
  • learning about food production
  • time commitment
  • maintenance costs
  • safety concerns
  • curriculum constraints
  • limited resources
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