Some people think that educated people are more valuable than people who have learned skills through experience. Do you think that educated people are the most valuable for society? What kinds of skills can people learn through experience that can benefit society?
It is
an
debatable issue whether educated Change the article
a
people
are more valuable or skilled person
learned through Fix the agreement mistake
people
experience
. I think these
both Correct determiner usage
apply
people
are more valuable and they equally contribute to society. The multitask skill people
learn through experience
. This
essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons.
To begin
with, skills
learned through experience
people
are more valuable as
Change preposition
than
an
educated Correct article usage
apply
one's
. Change noun form
ones
This
is because, the
educated persons have only theoretical knowledge and they will apply all their theoretical education when they are working in Correct article usage
apply
workplace
, Add an article
the workplace
a workplace
in contrast
, skilled individuals they
should learn from practical Correct pronoun usage
apply
experience
as
work. Change preposition
at
For instance
, healthcare sector workers have to do
Verb problem
have
the
practical Correct article usage
apply
experience
after finishing their graduate
and before starting as Replace the word
graduation
a
Correct article usage
apply
professional
. Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
Therefore
, these both folks are
equally contribute to society.
Unnecessary verb
apply
The multitasking
Correct article usage
Multitasking
skills
are required to learned
through Add a missing verb
be learned
experience
. This
is because, skilled
Correct article usage
the skilled
publics
Fix the agreement mistake
public
Add a missing verb
is force
force
to learn Replace the word
forced
while
working, thereby, they have to do
Verb problem
apply
multitasking
as compared to the educational population. Wrong verb form
multitask
For example
, the academic person can only focus on their education while
studying but the skilled person should need to do
multitask Unnecessary verb
apply
such
as learning and working, and as a result
, they will be the master in a particular field by experience
and learning. Hence
, multitasking skills
are required that can learn
through Wrong verb form
be learned
experience
indeed
.
Rephrase
apply
To conclude
, the
academic scholars and skilled individuals are contributing equally to society by their Correct article usage
apply
theorotical
knowledge and working Correct your spelling
theoretical
experience
. In addition
, multitasking skills
will need to learn
through Wrong verb form
be learned
experience
and skilled people
push to learn while
working than
an education one.Rephrase
rather than
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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and logical structure that is essential for a high coherence and cohesion score. To improve, you should outline your essay before writing, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central point that connects logically to the thesis and the other paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
While an introduction and a conclusion are present, they are not effectively developed. You should begin by paraphrasing the question to introduce the topic, then present a thesis statement that outlines your personal position. Your conclusion should succinctly restate your main points and re-emphasize your thesis.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are not fully developed with clear, relevant examples. Support each point with specific evidence, explanations, or experiences to better persuade the reader and increase your score.
task achievement
You have attempted to respond completely to the topic, however, your response lacks clarity and the thorough development of ideas. Develop your ideas fully with clear explanations and relevant examples to ensure a complete response to the prompt.
task achievement
Work on clarifying and comprehensively expressing your ideas. Aim for simplicity and precision in language use, avoiding overly complex structures or unclear references which can make your essay difficult to follow.
task achievement
The essay requires more relevant and specific examples that relate closely to the prompt. Use concrete examples to support your points, which enhances the persuasiveness of your argument and relevance of your response.
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