86.In many countreis, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

#countreis #people #population #governments #society

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this

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contemporary epoch, with the extended life expectancy of humans, some

individuals

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think that the

increase

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in the elderly

population

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will create challenges for governments around the world. Opponents and I hold a diverse view. I believe that

this

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will be beneficial for the younger generation. My contention will be

further

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explained. On the one hand, a number of

individuals

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think that old people are only a liability for authorities worldwide.

In other words

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, the

increase

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in the elderly

population

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will only create an

increase

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in the number of retired personnel which will be a burden on governments to care for. A prime example of

this

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is the United Kingdom in which the count of retired entities outweighs the workforce, so

this

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leads the government to relegate a lot of jobs to

individuals

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around the world.

Therefore

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, the growing elderly

population

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can create some difficulties for authorities around the world.

On the other hand

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, it is believed that the

increase

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in the amount of retired

individuals

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will be beneficial for the young generation.

This

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means that, when a lot of old people retire, it will create new job

opportunities

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for

young

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the young

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community.

For example

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, in Japan, numerous work

opportunities

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became available

due to

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the

increase

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in the figure of human beings who retired recently.

Therefore

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, retiring

individuals

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will leave work

opportunities

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for youngsters who need

to begin

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their lives. In conclusion,

after

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this

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essay has manifested the points mentioned above, it can be reiterated that

while

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the rise of the elderly

population

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may lead to some difficulties for authorities, it may

also

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open

opportunities

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for young

individuals

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. I believe that it is important for governments to build many amenities for elderly people to facilitate their lives

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task achievement

While the essay provides a clear thesis and supporting points, further elaboration and detail would enhance both the logical argument and depth of discussion. Consider adding more examples and expanding on the implications of each viewpoint.

coherence cohesion

Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to further improve coherence. Although the essay is generally well-organized, occasional transitional phrases can help the reader follow the argument even more easily.

introduction conclusion present

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the argument well.

relevant specific examples

Good use of examples like the situations in the UK and Japan to illustrate points.

supported main points

The arguments are generally logical and well-supported, with different perspectives addressed.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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In a number of countries, some people think its is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Social media enable people to keep in touch with each other and learn about the news. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people seek a lot of advice from family and friends when choosing their career. Others feel it is better to choose a career more independently. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Directors and managers of organization are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extend do you agree or disagree?