86.In many countreis, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

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this

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contemporary epoch, with the extended life expectancy of humans, some

individuals

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think that the

increase

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in the elderly

population

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will create challenges for governments around the world. Opponents and I hold a diverse view. I believe that

this

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will be beneficial for the younger generation. My contention will be

further

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explained. On the one hand, a number of

individuals

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think that old people are only a liability for authorities worldwide.

In other words

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, the

increase

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in the elderly

population

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will only create an

increase

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in the number of retired personnel which will be a burden on governments to care for. A prime example of

this

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is the United Kingdom in which the count of retired entities outweighs the workforce, so

this

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leads the government to relegate a lot of jobs to

individuals

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around the world.

Therefore

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, the growing elderly

population

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can create some difficulties for authorities around the world.

On the other hand

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, it is believed that the

increase

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in the amount of retired

individuals

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will be beneficial for the young generation.

This

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means that, when a lot of old people retire, it will create new job

opportunities

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for

young

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the young

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community.

For example

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, in Japan, numerous work

opportunities

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became available

due to

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the

increase

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in the figure of human beings who retired recently.

Therefore

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, retiring

individuals

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will leave work

opportunities

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for youngsters who need

to begin

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their lives. In conclusion,

after

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this

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essay has manifested the points mentioned above, it can be reiterated that

while

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the rise of the elderly

population

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may lead to some difficulties for authorities, it may

also

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open

opportunities

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for young

individuals

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. I believe that it is important for governments to build many amenities for elderly people to facilitate their lives

kokoelking1Mon Dec 23 2024

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task achievement

While the essay provides a clear thesis and supporting points, further elaboration and detail would enhance both the logical argument and depth of discussion. Consider adding more examples and expanding on the implications of each viewpoint.

coherence cohesion

Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to further improve coherence. Although the essay is generally well-organized, occasional transitional phrases can help the reader follow the argument even more easily.

introduction conclusion present

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the argument well.

relevant specific examples

Good use of examples like the situations in the UK and Japan to illustrate points.

supported main points

The arguments are generally logical and well-supported, with different perspectives addressed.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Some educationalist argue that non-exam, arts-based subjects, such as music, drama, art and craft, should be compulsory in the secondary-school curriculum. They believe that activities such as these can improve overall academic performance To what extent do you agree or disagree

Students generally prefer to choose the period they are supposed to study and the period they are free to have fun. They should be allowed to do their time management. Do you agree or disagree?

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In many countries, it is common for families to own and run their own businesses. Some people think this is the best way to run a business, while others consider this a potential source of problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion