Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages? You should write at least 250 words.
In
this
era of technology, most of the youths are self-learning in nature. Being independent they move to a different city or location from their families for work and study. Furthermore
, learning in a new environment and moving to another place has more advantages which I agree.
Change preposition
with.
In addition
, there are more advantages in terms of global exposure to various cultures, traditions, and festivals. One can have more impact on their living and become more broad-minded with respect to time if they move on to another place where people
come from all around the world. Overall
, according to
the data international students
exchange more and more traditions and culture. On the other hand
, students
become significantly more reliant as compared to the students
who stay with their families. The vast majority of students
become more career-focused and seek out more professional connections to achieve more in their student lives.
According to
the data, a minuscule portion of students
become homesick and seek out family connections and affection. Furthermore
, some of the young generation people
want to be present with their families in their sickness and health. For instance
, these are some of the common disadvantages a significant portion of the students
have in their minds.
This
brings us to the conclusion part, we can acknowledge that there are both advantages and disadvantages when it comes to being employed farther from home. Despite having plethora
of issues, Add an article
a plethora
people
go to work and study in other cities and states. For instance
, this
is a life journey that most people
adapt according to
time.Submitted by debasistripathy.india on
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task achievement
Ensure that each point is fully developed and supported with specific examples. For instance, when mentioning the advantages of moving away for work, provide more detailed and varied examples to illustrate these advantages effectively.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of ideas within and between paragraphs. Ensure that the transitions between ideas and paragraphs are smooth and that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one. This will enhance the overall coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Provide a more balanced analysis of the disadvantages. Although you mentioned that some people become homesick, this point could be expanded with more specific examples and a deeper exploration of the emotional or practical challenges faced by those moving away from their families.
coherence cohesion
Try to enhance the introduction by clearly outlining what the essay will cover. This will provide a clearer road map for the reader and improve the overall structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present, try to make your conclusion more impactful by summarizing the main points succinctly and restating your overall position in a compelling way.
task achievement
Your essay successfully addresses the prompt and provides a balanced view of both the advantages and disadvantages of moving away for work.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, which helps in framing the essay.