IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Language
Use synonyms
 is
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 utmost
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
 in
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 lives.
However
Linking Words
, some claim that offspring have to learn
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 at primary
school
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of high
school
Use synonyms
. I think
this
Linking Words
 trend has more benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
This
Linking Words
 essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons. There are some advantages of
this
Linking Words
 tendency.
children
Use synonyms
 have more concentration power in their early
stage
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 they can learn anything easily like
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because, in
primary
Correct article usage
the primary
show examples
school
Use synonyms
stage
Use synonyms
 child have less distraction
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their academic studies
while
Linking Words
 Their memory power
also
Linking Words
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 to learn
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
language
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
child
Correct article usage
the child
show examples
 age period is a learning
stage
Use synonyms
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 they can learn and do new things,and
as a result
Linking Words
, they will become a master in that.
In addition
Linking Words
, learning a new
language
Use synonyms
 in primary
school
Use synonyms
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
helps to practice and speak fluently without distractions. There are some disadvantages
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon. Learning
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 in secondary
school
Use synonyms
 can help to understand the particular
language
Use synonyms
 clearly.
This
Linking Words
 means
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
teenage
Add an article
the teenage
show examples
stage
Use synonyms
 is the best period for learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 because that time
children
Use synonyms
 have more mature and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can understand the meaning of
word
Fix the agreement mistake
words
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, many Indian students learn foreign
Use synonyms
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
 in
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
high
school
Use synonyms
 because that age
boost
Change the verb form
boosts
show examples
 to
understand
Replace the word
understanding
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 thoroughly, thereby, their spoken and written
will be
Verb problem
language
show examples
 improved.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 in primary
school
Use synonyms
 is best for
children
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 they have more concentration power and
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 distractions, secondary
school
Use synonyms
 is the best choice for
children
Use synonyms
learn
Fix the infinitive
to learn
show examples
 a new
language
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 they can understand the meaning of the
word
Fix the agreement mistake
words
show examples
 and
language
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I think
this
Linking Words
 trend has more advantages
outweighs
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweigh
show examples
 the disadvantages.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction/conclusion
While your introduction and conclusion are present, they could be more clearly defined and provide a better summary of your main points and arguments. Be sure to succinctly state the central argument in the introduction and to recap the main points and restate your thesis in the conclusion.
logical structure
Ensure logical flow and clarity in the organization of your essay. Use linking words and transitional phrases to guide the reader through your arguments. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be well-connected to the overall argument of the essay.
supported main points
Develop your main points with detailed support. Use specific examples to illustrate your arguments and elaborate on why these points support your thesis. Avoid general statements and strive for depth in your analysis.
complete response
To fully achieve the task, ensure you address all parts of the question thoroughly. Provide a balanced argument and include specific reasons and examples. The conclusion should clearly reflect the overall argument made in the essay, weighing the advantages and disadvantages as required by the task.
clear/comprehensive ideas
Focus on presenting clear and comprehensive ideas. Each paragraph should be structured to put forth a coherent argument aligned with the essay's overall thesis. Avoid vague statements and ensure that your points are well-explained and contribute meaningfully to the reader's understanding.
relevant/specific examples
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to back your arguments. The examples should be pertinent and detailed, providing a strong evidentiary base for your points. This will add depth to your essay and help demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • pronunciation
  • self-conscious
  • cultural awareness
  • global society
  • proficiency levels
  • competitive job market
  • foundational skills
  • qualified teachers
  • recreational activities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: