Some people think that children should be home schooled when they are very young while others think it is better for them to attend a kindergarten. Discuss both sides and give your opinions.

#people #children #home #kindergarten

Some people argue that homeschooling is the best option for

children

whereas

others consider that it would be beneficial for infants to attend

school

. I strongly agree with the latter argument that parents should send their kids to formal schools

such

as kindergarten to maximize their golden ages.

To begin

with, it is safe to say that kids should attend

school

at a very young age to learn about basic life skills, and I absolutely agree with

this

view. One thing that we need to emphasize more, which is often lacking in the debate, is how

school

environments can facilitate

children

to interact with their peers.

For example

, they have opportunities to socialize with their friends from various backgrounds, build their sense of empathy, and learn about different cultures. Aside from that, learning activities at schools are not only able to enhance their creativity, but

also

teach them about teamwork, and even hone their sense of leadership skills.

On the other hand

, many people think that bonding time with parents becomes the most crucial part of

children

's early stage of development.

Therefore

, it would be unnecessary for infants to go to

school

as early as possible.

Moreover

, they argue that

children

should spend most of their time playing outside, which might be lacking if they attend kindergarten. Many parents worry that their sons or daughters do not have sufficient time to play and explore things. In conclusion,

although

both views bring strong justifications, I would still argue that schools offer many things that could help

children

in their development stage.

Submitted by floriehendr on Thu Dec 21 2023

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Coherence & Cohesion

Make sure to structure your essay in a clear manner. While you present your ideas, ensure there is a progression from one to the next, maintaining a logical flow.

Coherence & Cohesion

Introduction and conclusion need to be more impactful with a clearer thesis statement and a summary encapsulating the essay's main arguments respectively.

Coherence & Cohesion

Support each main point with specific examples or evidence to strengthen your argument. Your argument benefits greatly from concrete evidence, which provides clarity and authority.

Task Achievement

Fully address all parts of the task, ensuring that your position is relevant and well-supported throughout the essay. A more balanced discussion of both views could improve the response.

Task Achievement

Develop your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Aim to add depth to your arguments with detailed explanations and examples where appropriate.

Task Achievement

Incorporate more relevant, specific examples to illustrate and support your points clearly. Examples should be directly related to the arguments you're making and should enhance the persuasiveness of your position.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that children should be home schooled when they are very young while others think it is better for them to attend a kindergarten. Discuss both sides and give your opinions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

With The Increasing Use And Development Of New Technology, Many Machine Are New Able To Do The Work Which People Used To Perform. What Are The Advantages And Disadvantages Of This Trend ?

It is argued that parents of children who break the law should be punished as they are responsible for their children’s actions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think it is an approriate use of government money?

Write a letter to your direct manager. In your letter: Ask for time off and explain why Provide the dates and times for which you will be unavailable to work Describe what you will do to prepare or make up for your absence Write at least 150 words. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Ms. Snyder,

The world is consuming natural resources faster than they can be renewed. Therefore, it is important that products are made to last. Governments should discourage people from constantly buying more up to date or fashionable products. To what extent do you agree with this statement?