The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the tourist information office in one city over a six-month period in 2011.

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the tourist information office in one city over a six-month period in 2011.
The line chart illustrates the data of
inquiries
received by the travel agent
information
office in one city over a
half year
Add a hyphen
half-year
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period in 2011.
Overall
,
it is clear that
the number of
inquiries
received
by
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apply
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in person and
telephone
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by telephone
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rose significantly,
while
the rate of
inquiries
received by letter or email
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
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sharply during the period. Looking for more details, the
inquiries
received
by
Change preposition
apply
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in person went up significantly
at
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from
show examples
400
information
to above 1,800 advice.
Moreover
, by telephone
for
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apply
show examples
inquiries
received rose gradually from above 8000
information
to 1,400
information
. Regarding
to
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apply
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the
inquiries
received by letter or email declined sharply
at
Change preposition
from
show examples
around 600 advice to under 400 advice between January to
Juny
Correct your spelling
June
in
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apply
show examples
2011.
Submitted by musa.nuwa on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words inquiries, information with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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