Since most information about culture and history can be found online, museums and art galleries are no longer needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some
people
believe that nowadays, almost everything can be accessed online including history and culture.
However
,
this
statement leads to the opinion that there is a possibility that
museums
and
art
galleries
will no longer exist in the future. I fully disagree with
this
viewpoint because there is still limited
access
to the
internet
, and it
also
can decrease incomes for local governments or artists.
To begin
with,
access
to the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
remains unevenly distributed, particularly in rural areas. Many communities still struggle with unreliable or non-existent
internet
connections, so it is difficult for them to
access
online resources.
Additionally
, some
people
, especially the elderly or those in low-income
society
Fix the agreement mistake
societies
show examples
, may lack the necessary digital literacy to effectively navigate the information
that is
available online. The absence of physical
museums
and
art
galleries
would reduce accessibility for those
people
, leaving them without a valuable resource for learning about history and culture. Another reason why
museums
and
art
galleries
are still essential is that they serve as a source of income for local governments and artists. A decline in the number of
museums
could lead to a drop in revenue. Many
museums
and exhibitions are popular tourist destinations for both local and international visitors.
For example
, in Yogyakarta, there is an annual event called ARTJOG held at the Jogja National Museum which usually attracts
people
from various regions.
Moreover
,
museums
and
art
galleries
employ a variety of staff, including curators, guides, and maintenance workers. Fewer
museums
could lead to job losses, affecting local employment rates. In conclusion, the existence of
museums
and
art
galleries
remains crucial, even in
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
era where information is accessible online. These places provide vital resources for those with limited
internet
access
and contribute to the economy. In fact, maintaining both online and physical spaces would be the ideal solution, as it would offer better accessibility and provide
people
with more options to explore culture and history in both digital and physical forms.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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general
Great job in presenting a clear stance on the topic and maintaining it throughout the essay. To achieve a higher score, consider using a wider range of vocabulary and more complex sentence structures.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that every paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. While your essay is well-organized, the flow could be further improved with more connective phrases.
task achievement
Your main points are well-supported, but adding more specific examples and detailed explanations can enhance the depth of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Clear and well-structured introduction and conclusion that align with each other.
task achievement
Strong, consistent arguments with relevant points supporting your stance.
task achievement
Effective use of real-world examples to illustrate points, such as the ARTJOG event in Yogyakarta.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • immersive
  • hands-on experience
  • interactive exhibits
  • preservation
  • cultural and historical artifacts
  • safeguarded
  • community engagement
  • heritage
  • authenticity
  • curated exhibits
  • scholarly input
  • misinformation
  • economic impact
  • tourism
  • emotional and aesthetic responses
  • atmosphere
  • ambiance
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