Some p eople believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successfulcareer, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Some people
consiider
that, there is a good option to get Correct your spelling
consider
high class
jobs for Add a hyphen
high-class
the
graduates from Correct article usage
apply
University
or college
. At the same time
some people believe that, Add a comma
time,
get
a job after Wrong verb form
getting
school
is good for building up career
. In my opinion, Add an article
a career
Studing
at Correct your spelling
Studying
university
or college
is the best option for making a bright future. In this
essay, I will discuss about
Remove the preposition
apply
the
both Remove the article
apply
phenomenon
and give Fix the agreement mistake
phenomena
proper
reason Add an article
a proper
the proper
behind
my opinion.
On the one hand, In Change preposition
for
this
competetive
era getting a Correct your spelling
competitive
well established
job is very tough. Each and every Add a hyphen
well-established
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
companies
are hiring Change to a singular noun
company
most
educated people Correct article usage
the most
for performing
their major tasks. For one position there may be apply ten Change preposition
to perform
peoples
. These circulars require highly educated students who are from different universities or colleges. I do not think that the students who just completed their Fix the agreement mistake
people
school
are capable for
these jobs and can be able to compete for those positions. Side by side, if any student wants to make up his or her Change preposition
of
career
as a doctor, engineer or teacher they must need to complete their higher education from university
or college
.
On the other hand
, Many pupils are willing to involve
in work just after completing their Wrong verb form
be involved
school
. This
may helps
them to earn Change the verb form
help
in
an early age and can give them the capability to bear their own financial burdens. They can make family early and can give support to their family and parents as well. Students who Change preposition
at
have
intend to do Unnecessary verb
apply
works
which are not require Fix the agreement mistake
work
high
educational certificate Correct article usage
a high
such
as fashion designing can join any companies
after finishing their Fix the agreement mistake
company
school
study
.
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
To sum up
, although
making career
Add an article
a career
Change preposition
at in
in
early age is necessary Correct your spelling
an
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
for
establishing a successful Change preposition
apply
career
is more efficient. Higher study from university
and college
can lead a person towards successful
Add an article
a successful
career
.Submitted by tanvir0507 on
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task achievement
Your essay overall addresses the task, but there are areas that can be improved. The introduction could be enhanced by clearly presenting the topic and outlining the structure of the essay. Additionally, a conclusion that summarizes the main points would create a more cohesive argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clear transitions between ideas, which affects the logical flow. Improve coherence by using a variety of connective words and phrases to link sentences and paragraphs together.
coherence cohesion
The main points are present but require further support. Use more concrete examples and relevant data to strengthen your arguments and ensure each paragraph clearly relates to the main topic.
task achievement
Some parts of the response feel incomplete. Each view should be fully explored, and there's a need for a clear, personal stance in the conclusion. Expand your explanation of the opinions and include a balanced discussion before stating your viewpoint.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.