Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #part #sports #teams #football #tennis

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Some people believe that participating in

team

sports

such

as football, offers more advantages,

while

others argue that engaging in individual

sports

, like tennis or swimming, is of paramount importance. Despite the notion that participating in individual

sports

enhances individual

skills

and

self-esteem

, I firmly believe that working as a

team

in a specific sport is more advantageous in promoting

teamwork

and

communication

skills

. On one hand, it is often argued that engaging in individual

sports

elevates individual

skills

and

self-esteem

For instance

, a badminton player participating in a competition must be well-prepared to win the match. He needs to discipline himself, work hard with consistent practice, and not give up on every mistake.

This

enhances individual

skills

and

self-esteem

, leading to success.

However

, I believe that

this

primarily just builds individual capability.

On the other hand

, some argue that working as a

team

in a particular sport brings advantages not only in individual capability but

also

team

capacity, especially in fostering

teamwork

and

communication

skills

. Taking football as a good example, achieving

team

goals requires every

team

member to collaborate, communicate effectively, and understand their responsibilities. Players learn to trust each other, leading to successful

team

performance.

Consequently

, participants in

team

sports

gain

communication

skills

teamwork

self-esteem

, and discipline. For these reasons, I contend that taking part in

sports

played in teams is more beneficial than engaging in individual

sports

. In conclusion, despite arguments that engaging in individual

sports

promotes individual

skills

and

self-esteem

, I believe that working as a

team

in a particular sport is invaluable for building

teamwork

and

communication

skills

. Acknowledging the benefits of both perspectives is important, but the holistic development fostered by

team

sports

aligns more closely with my viewpoint.

Submitted by musa.nuwa on Thu Dec 21 2023

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coherence cohesion

In terms of coherence and cohesion, your essay displayed a commendable logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, while the main points are generally well-supported, sometimes they could benefit from more detailed examples to more effectively illustrate the arguments.

task achievement

Regarding task achievement, you responded to the prompt thoroughly by discussing both views and providing your own opinion. The ideas were clear and mostly comprehensive, but further task achievement can be obtained by adding more specific and relevant examples to strengthen the points and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the issues.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cooperation
team spirit
sense of belonging
community
leadership
trust
collective responsibility
dependency
self-reliance
self-discipline
goal setting
tailored development
flexibility
social support

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Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

The qualities of a person to be successful in a real world cannot be learned from a university or similar academic institution. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences.

In many countries, international tourism has become an important source of income. However, it also has negative effects. Do the benefits of international tourism outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think visual images (like photographs and video) can tell information more accurately in a news story. Others think they are not reliable sources. Discuss both views and give your opinion.