Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Some people believe that participating in

team

Use synonyms

sports

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as football, offers more advantages,

while

Linking Words

others argue that engaging in individual

sports

Use synonyms

, like tennis or swimming, is of paramount importance. Despite the notion that participating in individual

sports

Use synonyms

enhances individual

skills

Use synonyms

and

self-esteem

Use synonyms

, I firmly believe that working as a

team

Use synonyms

in a specific sport is more advantageous in promoting

teamwork

Use synonyms

and

communication

Use synonyms

skills

Use synonyms

. On one hand, it is often argued that engaging in individual

sports

Use synonyms

elevates individual

skills

Use synonyms

and

self-esteem

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, a badminton player participating in a competition must be well-prepared to win the match. He needs to discipline himself, work hard with consistent practice, and not give up on every mistake.

This

Linking Words

enhances individual

skills

Use synonyms

and

self-esteem

Use synonyms

, leading to success.

However

Linking Words

, I believe that

this

Linking Words

primarily just builds individual capability.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some argue that working as a

team

Use synonyms

in a particular sport brings advantages not only in individual capability but

also

Linking Words

team

Use synonyms

capacity, especially in fostering

teamwork

Use synonyms

and

communication

Use synonyms

skills

Use synonyms

. Taking football as a good example, achieving

team

Use synonyms

goals requires every

team

Use synonyms

member to collaborate, communicate effectively, and understand their responsibilities. Players learn to trust each other, leading to successful

team

Use synonyms

performance.

Consequently

Linking Words

, participants in

team

Use synonyms

sports

Use synonyms

gain

communication

Use synonyms

skills

Use synonyms

teamwork

Use synonyms

self-esteem

Use synonyms

, and discipline. For these reasons, I contend that taking part in

sports

Use synonyms

played in teams is more beneficial than engaging in individual

sports

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, despite arguments that engaging in individual

sports

Use synonyms

promotes individual

skills

Use synonyms

and

self-esteem

Use synonyms

, I believe that working as a

team

Use synonyms

in a particular sport is invaluable for building

teamwork

Use synonyms

and

communication

Use synonyms

skills

Use synonyms

. Acknowledging the benefits of both perspectives is important, but the holistic development fostered by

team

Use synonyms

sports

Use synonyms

aligns more closely with my viewpoint.

musa.nuwaThu Dec 21 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

In terms of coherence and cohesion, your essay displayed a commendable logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, while the main points are generally well-supported, sometimes they could benefit from more detailed examples to more effectively illustrate the arguments.

task achievement

Regarding task achievement, you responded to the prompt thoroughly by discussing both views and providing your own opinion. The ideas were clear and mostly comprehensive, but further task achievement can be obtained by adding more specific and relevant examples to strengthen the points and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the issues.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

cooperation
team spirit
sense of belonging
community
leadership
trust
collective responsibility
dependency
self-reliance
self-discipline
goal setting
tailored development
flexibility
social support

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
You and your family are planning to spend a weekend at a seaside hotel. Write a letter to the hotel, making the arrangements. In your letter tell them when you will be arriving and leaving explain what type of rooms you would like, and ask how much the weekend will cost ask about activities and places of interest near the hotel You should write at least 150 words.
Dear Sir, I am writing to make a reservation at your hotel over the course of the weekend.
6.5
band
One group of people prefer to live in houses that have fewer tall buildings, while others prefer the opposite. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The issue of whether individuals ought to stay in high-rise residences rather than low-rise ones has prompted considerable debate. Although many advocate for this because it is more affordable, others contend against it due to possible incidents of accidents, which in my opinion, I think is better since it reduces fatality risk. Analyzing these facts will give a comprehensive overview of the subject matter.
6.5
band
Write a letter to your friend about a book that you have read recently. Include the following in your letter: - Describe the book. - Why do you want him/her to read it? - Tell him/her how to get the book.
I hope you are doing great, we didn't talk for a while, but now I have great news for you. Yesterday I finished reading a book. The book is called Nothing Can Break You" and I am pretty sure it is an excellent choice for such sport freak like you.
7
band
Companies use a variety of methods to improve the sales of their products. What are those methods? Which is the most effective method?
Companies improve their sales figures with several methods such as advertisement, free samples and extra discounts. I think any method has its benefits and drawbacks, although, I consider advertising because it can attract a large number of customers.
7
band
Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
In the contemporary epoch, the number of individuals who prefer to utilize conventional or modern treatments rather than visiting doctors increases. In my opinion, this is the negative trend that can cause detrimental effects on patients' remedy procedures and waste their money.

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

One group of people prefer to live in houses that have fewer tall buildings, while others prefer the opposite. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Write a letter to your friend about a book that you have read recently. Include the following in your letter: - Describe the book. - Why do you want him/her to read it? - Tell him/her how to get the book.

Companies use a variety of methods to improve the sales of their products. What are those methods? Which is the most effective method?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?