IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

An increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment.Why is this the caseand what solutions are possible?

#production #consumer #goods #results #damage #environment #caseand
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Natural habitats have recently become endangered
as a result
Linking Words
 of the increased production of customer products. I believe
this
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 problem is the consequence of their waste, and the government should take steps to mitigate it by prohibiting non-environmental commodities.
To begin
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 with, one potential cause of damage to the natural environment is trash produced by consumer goods.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that when companies create something, they often use nonrecycled substances as a composition for their packages, resulting in their accumulation in the environment.
For example
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, every year, Asian households produce 1 million tons of plastic, of which the majority comes from the packaging of items they buy.
Consequently
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,
this
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 garbage has become a problem for the region as they cannot fully recycle it, and it impacts the ecosystem. If
this
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 concern continues to develop, it may risk people's lives. To address
this
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 issue, the government should implement policies to minimize waste,
such
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 as non-renewable item restrictions.
In other words
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, if individuals are encouraged not to use it, they may look for alternative green products and become habituated.
For instance
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, a study discovered that the zero-plastic approach in Indonesian minimarkets and supermarkets reduced garbage output by 50% over the
last
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 two years.
This
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 is likely to happen not only because retailers can't sell the materials to their customers but
also
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 because the buyer must adapt to the habit of utilizing eco-friendly goods. In conclusion, the increase in consumer items made by manufacturers can contribute to the collection of waste, posing a risk to the environment;
therefore
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, the authorities should implement a strategy to limit them, particularly non-biodegradable item restrictions.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your position, while the conclusion should reinforce your views without introducing new information.
Logical Structure
Improve the structure of your arguments by first presenting the issue, followed by an example, then discussing the implications before concluding each paragraph.
Coherence & Cohesion
Increase the range of linking devices to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Phrases like "Furthermore," "In addition," and "However" can be very effective.
Supporting Arguments
Provide more specific examples or data to support your claims. This will make your argument more persuasive and demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Address all parts of the prompt thoroughly to ensure a complete response. Make sure that your essay equally covers the 'why' and 'solution' aspects of the question.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
Refine idea development in your paragraphs. Start with a clear topic sentence, follow up with detailed supporting sentences, and conclude with a statement that summarizes the paragraph’s main idea.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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