The chart below shows the results of a svrvey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Austrian cities

The chart below shows the results of a svrvey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Austrian cities
The chart describes a survey result about people's buying and drinking rates of
coffee
and
tea
in five Austrian cities.
Overall
, the percentage of drinking and buying
coffee
or
tea
was fluctuated
Change to the active voice
fluctuated
has fluctuated
show examples
;
Although
, the
rate
of fresh
coffee
and instant
coffee
buying and drinking in five cities in Australia
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
varied. In Sydney, the percentage of people who bought and consumed
coffee
or
tea
was around 60%,
while
in Melbourne, it was 64%. In Brisbane
city
Capitalize word
City
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, the
rate
was approximately 56%,
while
it was around 49% in Adelaide
city
. In Hobart
city
Capitalize word
City
show examples
, there has been a steady increase in the buying and drinking of
coffee
or
tea
by 64%. The
rate
of buying and drinking fresh
coffee
in Sydney and Melbourne was around 44% and 41% respectively in the
last
4 weeks but in the other two countries Brisbane and
Adelaide
Add a comma
Adelaide,
show examples
the rates were almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
while
Hobart was near 40%. In Sydney, the
rate
of buying and drinking instant
coffee
was above 45%.
However
, it is expected to increase gradually. Melbourne saw a decline of almost 49% and Brisbane saw a slight rise to 53%, but Adelaide saw a 50% decline. Again, In Hobart
city
was around 54%.
Submitted by mjifinanceassistant on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, tea, rate, city with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.

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