The chart below shows the results of a svrvey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Austrian cities

The chart below shows the results of a svrvey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Austrian cities
The chart describes a survey result about people's buying and drinking rates of
coffee
and
tea
in five Austrian cities.
Overall
, the percentage of drinking and buying
coffee
or
tea
was fluctuated
Change to the active voice
fluctuated
has fluctuated
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;
Although
, the
rate
of fresh
coffee
and instant
coffee
buying and drinking in five cities in Australia
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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varied. In Sydney, the percentage of people who bought and consumed
coffee
or
tea
was around 60%,
while
in Melbourne, it was 64%. In Brisbane
city
Capitalize word
City
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, the
rate
was approximately 56%,
while
it was around 49% in Adelaide
city
. In Hobart
city
Capitalize word
City
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, there has been a steady increase in the buying and drinking of
coffee
or
tea
by 64%. The
rate
of buying and drinking fresh
coffee
in Sydney and Melbourne was around 44% and 41% respectively in the
last
4 weeks but in the other two countries Brisbane and
Adelaide
Add a comma
Adelaide,
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the rates were almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
while
Hobart was near 40%. In Sydney, the
rate
of buying and drinking instant
coffee
was above 45%.
However
, it is expected to increase gradually. Melbourne saw a decline of almost 49% and Brisbane saw a slight rise to 53%, but Adelaide saw a 50% decline. Again, In Hobart
city
was around 54%.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, tea, rate, city with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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