Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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A great number of state believes
in
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that
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financial progress is their most important purpose
while
Linking Words
others believe there are different kinds of developments which equally important for a country. I strongly believe that
financial
Correct article usage
the financial
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situation should not be the only aim
for
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of
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a nation. First of all, from my point of view, there are several significant things
besides
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the economy for
a
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the
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public,
for instance
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, one of them is art. As far as I am concerned, art demonstrates a nation's culture and welfare. I intend to mention my Italy trip. I was extremely impressed by their churches and structures which have remained since the Roman Empire.
Also
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thanks to these
touristic
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tourist
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trips, Italy earns
millon
Correct your spelling
millions
dollars
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of dollars
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per year. As you see, even
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money
Correct word choice
if money
show examples
is not required, it
also
Linking Words
brings a good financial opportunity for the Italians so
money
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should not be the first objective. The other thought I would like to discuss is science. Of course, some amount of
money
Use synonyms
is required for research but it is not the most crucial value for it.
In addition
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, the most rich countries are leading the globe thanks to their success in science fields.
For example
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, Japan, one of the most famous
country
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countries
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by
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for
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its technology, now has an amazing role on our planet. Japanese people owe
this
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role to their thoughts about mechanical developments, not only to the cash flow. All in all, it seems to me that I cannot deny
money
Use synonyms
's impact but
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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there are
also
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other values which equally significant.
Submitted by fatmanurdonertas on

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task achievement
Make sure to fully develop and elaborate on your ideas with clear and specific examples. Explain how art and science contribute to progress, not just economically but in other ways as well.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical structure of your essay. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be connected seamlessly with the use of cohesive devices.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to express your points more precisely and to avoid repetition.
coherence cohesion
Include a clearer and more comprehensive introduction and conclusion to summarize the main points and clearly state your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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