Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country

A great number of state believes

Change preposition

that

show examples

financial progress is their most important purpose

while

others believe there are different kinds of developments which equally important for a country. I strongly believe that

financial

Correct article usage

the financial

show examples

situation should not be the only aim

for

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show examples

a nation. First of all, from my point of view, there are several significant things

besides

the economy for

Correct article usage

the

show examples

public,

for instance

, one of them is art. As far as I am concerned, art demonstrates a nation's culture and welfare. I intend to mention my Italy trip. I was extremely impressed by their churches and structures which have remained since the Roman Empire.

Also

thanks to these

touristic

Replace the word

tourist

show examples

trips, Italy earns

millon

Correct your spelling

millions

dollars

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of dollars

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per year. As you see, even

money

Correct word choice

if money

show examples

is not required, it

also

brings a good financial opportunity for the Italians so

money

should not be the first objective. The other thought I would like to discuss is science. Of course, some amount of

money

is required for research but it is not the most crucial value for it.

In addition

, the most rich countries are leading the globe thanks to their success in science fields.

For example

, Japan, one of the most famous

country

Change to a plural noun

countries

show examples

Change preposition

for

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its technology, now has an amazing role on our planet. Japanese people owe

this

role to their thoughts about mechanical developments, not only to the cash flow. All in all, it seems to me that I cannot deny

money

's impact but

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

there are

also

other values which equally significant.

Submitted by fatmanurdonertas on Thu Dec 21 2023

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task achievement

Make sure to fully develop and elaborate on your ideas with clear and specific examples. Explain how art and science contribute to progress, not just economically but in other ways as well.

coherence cohesion

Work on the logical structure of your essay. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be connected seamlessly with the use of cohesive devices.

coherence cohesion

Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to express your points more precisely and to avoid repetition.

coherence cohesion

Include a clearer and more comprehensive introduction and conclusion to summarize the main points and clearly state your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

standard of living
sustainable development
social equality
environmental degradation
cultural heritage
technological innovation
wealth disparity
human development index
holistic approach
quality of life
economic prosperity
healthcare system
education system
cultural diversity
policy decisions

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Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be?Should governments give more financial support to local film industries?

Higher education could be funded in three ways. All costs paid by government, all costs paid by students or students paying all costs through a government loan. What are the advantages of these choices?

Compared to past, more people are now trying to learn a foreign language to increase their chances of landing a better job in their native country or to have better opportunities to work abroad. To what extent do you agree with this point of view?

Some people think that employers should ensure a supportive and pleasant work environment where each employee is respected and valued equally while others think employers should focus instead on providing better facilities and equipment . What is your opinion?

Some people view teenage conflict with their parents as a neccessary part of growing up, whilst others see it as something negative. Discuss your both views and give your own opinion.