IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication have a negative impact on young people’s writing and reading skills. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #computers #phones #communication #impact #people’s #skills
Nowadays writing and reading skills rarely found in the young generation is mainly
due to
 the increasing
use
 of modern means computers and cell phones.
While
 there are underlying reasons, its roots might lie in the popularity of social networking. I totally agree with
this
 statement and
this
 essay is about to explore the reasons. To start with, various chatting apps are allowed
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
users is only to
use
 icons which carry certain messages that can be easily understood.
In addition
, these virtual images more likely encourage people to spend more effort on them to
use
 repeatedly.
Thus
, young people lose their skills to write
while
 they are addicted to using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exact emoticons with little information.
Moreover
, illustrates that all the information on social applications is rarely described in full form of any language
instead
 of using full forms words. In
this
 way, they have now decreased skills in terms of reading articles.
For example
, some notes are being written
hpy
Correct your spelling
happy
 and
tnsn
Correct your spelling
then
instead
 of happy and tense.
On the other hand
, the new generation is happy to
use
 computers with manifold codes and symbols which are unable to maintain regular basis word combinations so they are more uncomfortable with reading and writing in the academic section.
Furthermore
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
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student
use
 methods based on computers to solve their academic assignments without any hard work, these are evaluated on software.
However
,
this
 issue could be dangerous as they will go for a job there everything have to do on their own.
To sum up
, modern devices and easy access to communication
to
Change preposition
through
show examples
 social apps are a threat to our young generation and
making
Wrong verb form
will make
show examples
 fewer skilled people in future.
Submitted by farjanaakterrikta8 on

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coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, the essay shows some ability to organize ideas and information, but the logical sequencing of points can be improved for better clarity. Ideas could be more thoroughly and clearly articulated, following a logical progression throughout the text.
introduction conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are identifiable, which suggests a basic structure is present. However, they could be strengthened with clearer thesis statements and a more impactful final summary. Use the concluding paragraph to clearly summarize the argument and restate your position.
supported main points
Main points are supported but could benefit from more development and explanation. The use of examples is noted, although they are not always relevant or fully elaborated. To improve, offer more concrete evidence and examples that directly support the main argument of the essay.
complete response
A response to the task is present but limited. The ideas relating to the impact of technology on writing and reading skills are not fully explored or extended. To enhance the response, ensure a full discussion of the prompt's statement, taking care to completely address all parts of the task, and make your stance clear throughout the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
While ideas concerning the negative impact of computers and mobile phones on writing and reading skills are communicated, there's room for improvement in expressing these ideas more comprehensively. Aim to develop each point with additional detail, explanation, and clear argumentation to effectively communicate your position on the matter.
relevant specific examples
Specific examples are included but lack relevance and support for the main argument. To better illustrate your points, incorporate a range of examples that are directly tied to the central argument. Ensure these examples are detailed and provide a clear connection to the topic being discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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