IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children’s charity located in the USA spent and received in one year, 2016. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children’s charity located in the USA spent and received in one year, 2016. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie charts illustrate the amount of money
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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collected and spent by a children's organization in the United States in 2016.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the primary source of money collected through food donations and community contributions made a significant amount.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the main expenditure item was program services in 2016. The
children
Change noun form
children's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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 charity collected almost $53 million and 600 thousand and the vast majority of income
made
Add a missing verb
was made

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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 by donated food with nearly 87% in 2016.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 community contributions to the income
was
Change the verb form
were

The singular verb was does not appear to agree with the plural subject contributions. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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 just over a tenth, program revenue helped around only a minor proportion of 2.2%. The total
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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remaining sources
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as investment income, government grants and other sources only contributed an insignificant fraction. A drastic amount of the revenue
spent
Add a missing verb
was spent

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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 on program services with 95.8% of
$
Correct article usage
the $

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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53,224,896 expenditure in 2016. Fundraising
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events

It seems that event may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 and management and general were nearly 3% and 2% respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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