IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children’s charity located in the USA spent and received in one year, 2016. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children’s charity located in the USA spent and received in one year, 2016. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#amount #money #children’s #charity #usa #year #information #features #comparisons
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The pie charts illustrate the amount of money
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
collected and spent by a children's organization in the United States in 2016.
Overall
Linking Words
, the primary source of money collected through food donations and community contributions made a significant amount.
However
Linking Words
, the main expenditure item was program services in 2016. The
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 charity collected almost $53 million and 600 thousand and the vast majority of income
made
Add a missing verb
was made
show examples
 by donated food with nearly 87% in 2016.
While
Linking Words
 community contributions to the income
was
Change the verb form
were
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 just over a tenth, program revenue helped around only a minor proportion of 2.2%. The total
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
remaining sources
such
Linking Words
 as investment income, government grants and other sources only contributed an insignificant fraction. A drastic amount of the revenue
spent
Add a missing verb
was spent
show examples
 on program services with 95.8% of
$
Correct article usage
the $
show examples
53,224,896 expenditure in 2016. Fundraising
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
show examples
 and management and general were nearly 3% and 2% respectively.
Submitted by historicalpen on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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