Only people over 18 must be allowed to use social media. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
According to
some people
, people
aged 18 and over should be able to utilize specific types of social media
and be restricted from using it. I can't entirely agree with this
idea since using social media
can be beneficial for the young in terms of education, employment opportunities, and awareness about all improvements and ongoing actions not only in their country but also
across the whole world.
In this
contemporary era, because of the advancements in technology, the young generation can gain a lot of crucial data from all kinds of social media
, which means children
can learn the necessary information about their studies as there are several advantageous lessons that professionals in the form of videos on YouTube and other types of social media
teach. Teenagers, moreover
, often tend to watch various kinds of videos on Instagram, so they can get basic information about their interests by just watching reels and videos.
Moving on to another advantage of this
habit, employment opportunities have to be mentioned, as nowadays people
observe that even teenagers can earn an exact amount of money for a house or a car. What this
means is that young people
can help raise the budget of their families since they can do online jobs, which are common in today's world, such
as traders, bloggers, and so on.
Social media
may help increase their awareness degree, which means they can learn news about the world and other valuable data that may be significant for their personal development. For example
, as everyone knows, many competitions are held for pupils on social media
, and children
can participate and even win considerable rewards.
However
, there may be some inappropriate things for the young as the quantity of films and shows is rising daily, which means some of them may include embracing scenes that may be hurtful to their personality and even can lead to committing crimes. Another disadvantage of using social media
for children
is getting incorrect knowledge about their religion.
To sum up
, children
's habits about using social media
may help them in many ways, such
as earning cash and learning. However
, it also
can be dangerous for their future, as the concept of their knowledge about life and faith may hurt. Thus
, it is crucial to know how to use it beneficially, and parents always need to control their children
's use of social media
.Submitted by akbarturdiyev06 on
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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and your position on the issue. The introduction in this essay does not explicitly state whether you agree or disagree with the statement. This can confuse readers about your stance.
task achievement
Include a clear conclusion that restates your overall opinion on the matter to help reinforce your argument and provide closure to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Develop paragraphs with clear topic sentences that introduce the main idea, followed by supporting sentences with examples or explanations to back up each point.
task achievement
Avoid overgeneralising or making broad statements without providing specific evidence. Try to include concrete examples or data where possible to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking ideas smoothly from one paragraph to the next using a variety of cohesive devices, such as transition words and phrases. In the essay, some transitions are used, but there is room for improvement in this area.
task achievement
Consider checking the balance of content; both sides of the argument should be explored equally if you are taking a balanced approach. In your conclusion, you should then make it clear where your own opinion lies.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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