IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It is argued that governments spend a huge amount of money on railway programs
instead
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 of highways. I completely agree with
this
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 point of view.
Although
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roads
Use synonyms
 play an important role in the cities,
railways
Use synonyms
 have a significant impact not only on the transportation system but
also
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for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 helping the environment. There are a considerable number of reasons why spending money on
railways
Use synonyms
 is far more productive than
roads
Use synonyms
.
First,
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using underground transportation can reduce greenhouse gases,
such
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 as CO2 and methane which would have
good
Add an article
a good
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 effect on the environment.
For example
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, if the number of
railways
Use synonyms
increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
, people are more likely to use them for everyday life, and they will not
stick
Wrong verb form
be stuck
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 in traffic jams
also
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 they will be able to go anywhere that they want as fast as possible.
However
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, building more
roads
Use synonyms
encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
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 people to use their own cars
instead
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 of public transportation and it can cause to go up harmful gases.
In addition
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 to that, railway networks are crucial for economic activity.
This
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 network connection can link cities and countries to each other for communication
such
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 as transferring goods.
For instance
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, the China-Europe railway express which moves cargo containers from China to London in 18 to 19 days is much faster than ships,
also
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 airplanes are ten times more expensive
instead
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 of trains.
Although
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Use synonyms
roads
Change the noun form
road
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 transport may
also
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 be cost-effective, it cannot provide the speed
like
Change preposition
of
show examples
railways
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, government spending should be on
railways
Use synonyms
 rather than
roads
Use synonyms
. For one thing,
railways
Use synonyms
 are more efficient, for another, they play a big part in economic activities.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea, and avoid including multiple main ideas within a single paragraph to enhance readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Make use of a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing skills, such as conjunctions, lexical chains, and topic sentences to guide the reader more effectively through your arguments.
task achievement
Make sure you fully address the question prompt throughout the essay, and include a clear opinion, which you did effectively. Assure that your conclusion summarizes your viewpoint and the main reasons for this viewpoint succinctly.
task achievement
Develop each paragraph with specific, relevant examples to support your main points, and elaborate on these examples to clearly illustrate how they support your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • environmental footprint
  • efficiency
  • pollution
  • cost-effectiveness
  • economic development
  • accessibility
  • public transportation
  • congestion
  • air pollution
  • initial investment
  • maintenance
  • upgrades
  • rural
  • urban
  • last-mile connectivity
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