Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

#people #access #computers #basis #children #computer #games #impacts #effects

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In today's contemporary era, computers have received essential status and got a sprawling expansion in

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

live being, and

esspecially

Correct your spelling

especially

for

children

Use synonyms

as a tool for playing videogames. Apart from some positive effects of playing

games

Use synonyms

, there are existing potential negative feedback of

such

Linking Words

a common hobby.

This

Linking Words

essay will explore the negative aftermath of computer

games

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and suggest possible solutions to address the effect of

this

Linking Words

trend. One of the major negative impacts arising from using computers for gaming is the unrestricted content in video

games

Use synonyms

Consequently

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

issue can cause

children

Use synonyms

's access to hazardous resources via the Internet,

such

Linking Words

as video

games

Use synonyms

with violence or any form of crime, which could produce students' aggressive behaviour with peers in a school.

For example

Linking Words

, in Astana , in 2016, a quite large number of

children

Use synonyms

had been playing in schools in dangerous game "Blue Whale", which endorsed the idea of self-violence and suicide.

As a result

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

game,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

was the root cause of some deaths among students.

However

Linking Words

, one possible solution to address the problem of uncontrolled content is creating rules for data

consuming

Replace the word

consumption

show examples

for people under 18 years old.

For example

Linking Words

, it could be a data verification via person

ID's

Change noun form

IDs

show examples

to download video

games

Use synonyms

which are marked as for adults. In fact,

this

Linking Words

would prevent

children

Use synonyms

from playing

games

Use synonyms

with content which is not relevant to them and,

consequently

Linking Words

, decrease a potential negative impact. In

this

Linking Words

case, the government should act as the validation and authority source to manage corporations

following

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

rule.

To conclude

Linking Words

, the negative effects of computer

games

Use synonyms

can significantly lessen by restricting dangerous resources, with the government's support.

Submitted by anastasia.patalashko on Fri Dec 22 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Though the essay presents a logical structure, there is room for improvement in clarity and cohesion between ideas. The introduction could more effectively paraphrase the task and the conclusion could more clearly summarize the main points. The main points are supported, but often with examples that lack detail or specificity. Consider using a wider range of connecting words and phrases to enhance coherence. The essay would benefit from a clearer progression of ideas and better paragraphing.

task achievement

The essay addresses the task and provides a response to both parts of the question. However, the ideas could be more fully developed. To improve, give more comprehensive coverage of the negative impacts of computer games and delve deeper into the solutions, offering more specific examples and explanations. The argument would benefit from clear topic sentences and more elaboration on points made. Make sure that the essay consistently maintains focus on the prompt and explores the implications more thoroughly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

addiction
sedentary lifestyle
obesity
eye strain
inappropriate content
social skills
isolation
academic performance
time limits
parental supervision
age-appropriate
physical activities
digital literacy
balanced computer usage
excessive gaming

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic. Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves? Use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and with relevant evidence.
It is argued that wealthy countries should help poor countries by providing basic food and education whereas it is the responsibility of every nation's government to serve the public at the foundation levels. This essay agrees that poor nations need the necessities of food and education during war times. Firstly, a one-time meal should be shipped for living reasons; secondly, the right guidance and training should be accessed to defend the situation.
6
band
Most of the urgent problems can only be solved with international cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree？
Problematic regions relying on global assistance to address their rising issues are no longer news. Although it is debated that only cross- border organizations can help with such difficulties, I contend the opposing viewpoint that improvement may be achieved via multiple ways. In this essay, I will fully explain this perspective and give two- sided explanations.
6.5
band
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In many countries, some people think that allowing children to make their own choices results in a selfish personality, while others think that making decisions themselves is necessary. Although making up their minds based on their choices may bring about a self-thinking personality, I strongly believe that making decisions by themselves allows children to drive their own lives, leading to an improved quality of life.
<4
band
Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
A foreign language must be teaching to children in the initial kindergartens. However, a numerous of scientific support this attend whereas a number of education systems surround the universe taught foreign language in the secondary schools.
7
band
Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?
Many individuals believe that authorities ought to concentrate on reducing housing problems and environmental pollution so that illness and disease can be avoided. This writer agrees with this opinion as these factors have profound impacts on health.

Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Most of the urgent problems can only be solved with international cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?