Some feel that school uniforms make schools safer for students, create a “level playing field” that reduces socio economic disparities and encourage children to focus on their studies rather that their clothes. Others say school uniforms infringe upon students’ rights to express their individuality, have no positive effect on behavior and academics achievement. Discuss both sides and give your opinion
#feel #school #uniforms #schools #students #“level #field” #socio #disparities #children #focus #studies #clothes #students’ #rights #individuality #effect #behavior #academics #achievement
The given
table
,
gives Remove the comma
apply
the
information describing the Correct article usage
apply
number
of persons
in Replace the word
people
millions
had
Correct pronoun usage
who had
travel
to Wrong verb form
travelled
international
Add an article
an international
destination
in Fix the agreement mistake
destinations
era
of 1990, 1995, 2000 and 2005. We are going to discuss the main information we can observe from the Add an article
the era
an era
table
and
compare these four years with each other and make a conclusion.
Correct word choice
apply
Overall
, it is noticeable the number
of people going to
international Change preposition
on
trip
Fix the agreement mistake
trips
in
every continent has Change preposition
on
increase
in the span of 15 years. Change the verb form
increased
As well as
, when we compare Rephrase
Also
Correct article usage
the table
table
we can directly notice Europe has increased Fix the agreement mistake
tables
number
of travellers from all over Change the article
a number
the number
globe
.
Add an article
the globe
Firstly
, in Africa from 1990 to 2005 we were seeing the
growth of 10.5 Correct article usage
a
millions
Change to singular
million
tourism
from 18.2 to 28.7 Change preposition
in tourism
millions
, but in Change to singular
million
America
Add a comma
America,
the
tourism Correct article usage
apply
is
increased in Unnecessary verb
apply
Change the article
the year
year
1990 Fix the agreement mistake
years
ti
1995 from 80.5 Correct your spelling
to
millions
to 112.5 Change to singular
million
millions
but after 1995 it Change to singular
million
remains
constant. Same with Wrong verb form
remained
Middle
East in 1990 Correct article usage
the Middle
number
of travellers Correct article usage
the number
are
9.8 million and by 2005 the Wrong verb form
was
number
is
increased to 15.8 Unnecessary verb
apply
millions
.
Change to singular
million
Secondly
, the second half of table
shows the Correct article usage
the table
number
of visitors from globe
to Asia and the Correct article usage
the globe
pacific
is double Capitalize word
Pacific
their
quantity from 60.2 to 135.8 Correct pronoun usage
apply
millions
in Change to singular
million
span
of 15 years same Correct article usage
a span
as
followed Correct word choice
apply
Europe
Change preposition
in Europe
its
accelerates from 280.2 to 400.2 Correct pronoun usage
it
millions
Change to singular
million
attracters
.Correct your spelling
attractors
attraction
Submitted by shubhashish.bobby on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
introduction conclusion present
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion which are essential components of an effective essay structure; make sure to include them to set the context and to summarize the main points respectively.
logical structure
The logical structure of the essay is weak. Ideas and paragraphs should flow logically from one to the next, with clear topic sentences and cohesive devices to aid understanding.
supported main points
You should aim at fully developing your main points, using detailed and specific examples to support statements, and demonstrating a clear relationship between ideas.
complete response
The essay only partially addresses the task, as it does not discuss both sides of the argument or state a clear opinion as the prompt requires. Make sure to cover all parts of the task to achieve a higher score.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas lack clarity and comprehensiveness, which affects the reader's understanding. It's important to elaborate on your ideas fully and use clear, concise language.
relevant specific examples
The essay should include relevant and specific examples that support the arguments made. These examples are necessary to illustrate your points and make your argument more persuasive.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!