IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

More and more people are shifting to cities from countryside. Does this have more advantages than disadvantages?

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These days, the migration has increased rapidly across the globe. Many individuals move to
mega
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megacities
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cities
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 from
villages
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. Leading a better standard of
lifestlye
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
 and obtaining more employment chances are the
benefits
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 of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon,
although
Linking Words
,
air
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pollution
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 and congestion will increase in
cities
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 are the
drawbacks
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 trend does not have more
benefits
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 than
drawbacks
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay shall discuss it briefly for the following reasons. There are some advantages of
people
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migrate
Wrong verb form
migrating
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 to urban places from their local areas. One of the major
benefits
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 is that
cities
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 have all the amenities like better education, healthcare and
cinima
Correct your spelling
cinema
 theatre as compared to
villages
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, and
as a result
Linking Words
, individual's life will change with consume all these amenities when they
are moving
Wrong verb form
move
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 to metropolitan places from
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
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.
For example
Linking Words
, in Mumbai
the
Correct article usage
apply
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state
of
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apply
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India, local residents have moved to Mumbai
for getting
Change preposition
to get
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 a better standard of
lifestyle
Replace the word
life
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. Another plus point is that
cities
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 have enormous
MNCs
Correct your spelling
MNC
 companies in order to
migration
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migrate
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can get more employment opportunities from it. These are the advantages of populations
move
Wrong verb form
moving
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 to
mega
Correct your spelling
megacities
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cities
Use synonyms
 from
villages
Use synonyms
. There are some
drawbacks
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of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
situaions
Correct your spelling
situation
situations
. One of the major disadvantages is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
increasing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air
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pollution
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level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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.
This
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 is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 already urban locations face
air
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pollution
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 by using plenty of vehicles that release more toxic emissions.
For instance
Linking Words
, a recent report done by the Times of India said that numerous folks suffer the respiratory problems and lung cancer
by
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due to
show examples
air
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pollution
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. Another disadvantage is that traffic congestion may increase by will increase
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 number of vehicles, consequence,
people
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 have to wait long hours on
road
Correct article usage
the road
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 to reach their destinations. These are the
drawbacks
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 of many
people
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move
Wrong verb form
moving
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 to urban locations from
villages
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.
To conclude
Linking Words
, leading a better lifestyle and getting more employment opportunities are the
benefits
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 of many
people
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shift
Wrong verb form
shifting
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 to
mega
Correct your spelling
megacities
show examples
cities
Use synonyms
 from
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
,
in contrast
Linking Words
, increasing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
 and increasing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic congestion are the
drawbacks
Use synonyms
 of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon.
This
Linking Words
 trend does not have more advantages than disadvantages.

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coherence cohesion
The essay presents a basic structure, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow of ideas and transitions between points could be improved for clarity. The use of cohesive devices is limited and occasionally used incorrectly.
task achievement
While the essay addresses the task, there is a need for a more complete and comprehensive response. The writer should ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed equally, and ideas should be fully developed and extended. The explanation of advantages and disadvantages is not fully elaborated, and specific examples are not always clear or appropriately detailed.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • metropolitan
  • infrastructure
  • cosmopolitan
  • overcrowding
  • economic prospects
  • commute
  • residential areas
  • social amenities
  • cultural assimilation
  • property prices
  • rural exodus
  • sustainability
  • gentrification
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