In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this messages?

Parents often provide their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children with
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life advice to work hard enough so that they
could
Wrong verb form
can
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reach their dreams.
Although
, it might not always be true, giving
such
message
Correct article usage
a message
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to
children
may have a good impact on how they will grow as a person.
This
essay will discuss on what might be the advantages and disadvantages of
such
message
Correct article usage
a message
show examples
. I could argue that no accomplishment could be achieved without any hard
efforts
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effort
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.
By having
Change preposition
Having
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children
to
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apply
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think
this
way,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will incur motivation for them to take the path to reach that success. Imagine if they don't have
this
kind of mentality, they will always take the easier path and just "go with the flow", failing to achieve their dreams.
Furthermore
, having the motivation might incentivize them to learn and improve on qualities that they are lacking
off
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apply
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initially
.
This
is certainly a benefit because they will end up as a better person even if they fail to achieve their
goals
.
Also
, on
the
Correct article usage
a
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larger scale,
this
way of thinking will benefit humanity cumulatively
due to
an increase in productivity and development index.
While
this
advice pushes youngsters to work harder, it might lead to
frustrations
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frustration
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for some. There are some instances where their
goals
do not seem to get closer no matter how hard they try. It gets worse when they realize that success is not only
due to
hardship, but
also
inherited traits, privileges, and the likes of it.
Also
, it is possible for
children
to become over-ambitious and fixated only on the things that matter
for
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to
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their
goals
, neglecting the need for them to have fun and enjoy the dynamics of growing up. Having a mindset that success comes from hardship might be beneficial for some individuals or for us as a society. But
this
should be taken with a grain of salt. There are other factors that we can not control. Parents should
also
teach their
children
on
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apply
show examples
how to be more realistic with their
goals
and how to reach them strategically so that their
effort
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efforts
show examples
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
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not go to waste. And for the rest of us, making the world more inclusive and equal would be a great starting point.
Submitted by faiq.gitu on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are distinct and encapsulate the main points of your argument effectively. Both should clearly establish the topic and your position, as well as summarise the key points and implications in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Work on connecting your ideas more smoothly, using a range of cohesive devices beyond simple linking words. Aim for a logical flow that guides the reader naturally from one point to the next.
task achievement
Ensure each main point is expanded with clear examples or evidence. Avoid general statements without illustrating them through specific situations, statistics, or studies.
task achievement
While you covered the advantages and disadvantages, additional depth and specificity could make your arguments more compelling. Delve deeper into the manner in which these outcomes manifest in children's lives.
task achievement
Work to provide a more complete response by addressing all parts of the task. The prompt warrants a balanced discussion of both the merits and drawbacks of instilling a strong work ethic in children. Make sure to explore each aspect thoroughly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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