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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table and charts below give information on the police bugjet for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money come from and the charts show how it was distributed.

The table and charts below give information on the police bugjet for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money come from and the charts show how it was distributed.
#information #police #bugjet #area #britain #money #show
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The table chart illustrates the data
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
on the
police
Use synonyms
 cost;
whereas
Linking Words
 the histogram charts provide information about how the
money
Use synonyms
 was spent in small
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 of Britain between 2017 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the total
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
police
Use synonyms
 budget rose steadily,
while
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 the information
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 how the
money
Use synonyms
 was spent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 salaries
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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declined sharply during the period. Looking for more details
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
table
Add an article
the table
show examples
, the sources of
police
Use synonyms
 budget were four
differents
Correct your spelling
different
show examples
 types from 2017 to 2018.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the all of types
sources
Change preposition
of sources
show examples
 of
police
Use synonyms
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
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 increased sharply.
Similarly
Linking Words
, at National
Govermant
Correct your spelling
government
 rose from 175.5m to 177.8m and by Local Taxes, 102.3m increased from 91.2m.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, from other sources went up to 85,5m by
started
Verb problem
apply
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38m.
According to
Linking Words
 the pie charts, the
police
Use synonyms
 budget
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how
Rephrase
apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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was distributed were three different types
by
Change preposition
of
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 the same token.
However
Linking Words
, the
Use synonyms
police
Correct quantifier usage
number of police
show examples
 who spent
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
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 salaries went down sharply from 75% to 60%,
while
Linking Words
,
for
Change preposition
apply
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the person who spent
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
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 technology rose sharply
at
Change preposition
from
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 8% to 14%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
police
Use synonyms
 who spent
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 buildings and transport
remaind
Correct your spelling
remained
remains
remain
 stable at 17%.
Submitted by musa.nuwa on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words police, money, m with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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