Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Individuals generally commemorate the

festivals

for entertainment purposes, but they do not have any knowledge regarding their traditional

as well as

religious significance. I totally agree with

this

testimonial because they do not inherit good relations with their elders, and they are affected by Western culture as well. The primary reason is that every human being has a very hectic schedule nowadays,

due to

which they do not have any spare time to spend with their grandparents to gain any kind of historical information. Teenagers are busy with their studies

whereas

adults are busy with their office tasks.

Thus

, they celebrate their religious ceremonies as a source of entertainment by gathering with all the near and dear ones.

For example

, Diwali the most famous festival of Indian

people

is now celebrated as a festival to relax the mind by burning crackers and eating sweets, without knowing about its religious

importance

related to Guru Teg Bahadur ji. Another pivotal extrapolation to support the view is some

people

are running after the Western culture and forgetting their traditional

festivals

Due to

the migration of masses among the different nations, the religious

importance

of certain cultures is losing its significance because they celebrate those

festivals

just for fun neither they have any information related to their religious

importance

nor do they have enough knowledge about their ancestorial

festivals

For instance

, Christmas and easter are celebrated by 70 per cent of Indian

people

residing in Canada and America, but in reality, they do not know why they celebrate these. Except for enjoyment purposes.

To conclude

, the religious

importance

of celebrating

festivals

among

people

is reducing consistently

due to

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of conversation with elderly

people

along with

the impact of Western culture on

youngsters

Change noun form

youngsters'

youngster's

show examples

minds.

Submitted by ss6802125 on Wed Feb 14 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure your essay has a clear structure, including a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should explore a specific aspect of the topic, with clear topic sentences introducing the main idea.

task achievement

Develop your main points with more in-depth analysis and a wider range of examples. This adds richness to your argument and helps provide a more comprehensive response to the task.

coherence cohesion

Work on integrating more complex sentence structures and varied vocabulary to enhance the quality of your writing. This can improve the overall readability and sophistication of your essay.

task achievement

Make sure your essay directly addresses the question throughout, ensuring that every paragraph contributes to your overall argument. It's important that your viewpoint on the given statement is clear and consistent.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

290 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Commercialization
Globalization
Cultural dilution
Traditional values
Secularization
Festivity
Heritage
Individualism vs. collectivism
Consumer culture
Intangible cultural heritage

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Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some countries allow old people to work to any stage that they want. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes effects of this disturbing trend.

Some people say that it’s better to teach language students in small classes, others think the number of people does not matter. Discuss and give your own opinion.

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?