some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

When it comes to
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
and
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
effects on
people
and the things they purchase,
people
have different attitudes. Some
people
believe that advertising has an enormous effect on
persuasion
Add an article
the persuasion
show examples
of them in order to buy some stuff,
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
other
people
have an opposite point of view. They think that advertising no longer has power over the choices
people
make. The first group of
people
mention
Wrong verb form
mentioned
show examples
that advertising is a very strong concept. They think advertising is much more complex than it seems to be, and it has its hidden effects on the way
people
justify the things they buy. I almost agree with
this
group and their belief. In my opinion, advertising shows an unrealistic picture of things and represents toxic positivity. There are some specialized
tricks
which advertisers use in order to affect the subconscious part of their audience's brain. In the long term, the audience would feel the need to buy some specific stuff
although
they really don't need that.
For example
, you see an advertisement in which the actor has the latest model of a mobile phone and that person’s life seems to change completely. He seems happier and his life is full of colors. So,
this
transfers the message that owning
this
brand-new phone can solve all your problems and
people
mostly want to give it a try and see if they can truly find that happiness and satisfaction. But the other group of
people
believe that advertising and the messages it contains have no control over us and our decision-making process. They confess
this
idea based on the fact that nowadays,
people
are more aware than they were before, and they are familiar with advertising
tricks
, so they won’t fall into the trap. From my personal perspective,
this
idea doesn’t seem quite logical. Because ordinary
people
cannot be as updated as an advertiser. There always have been
tricks
which aren’t known by the public, so they can always examine newer and unknown
tricks
which haven’t become the trend yet and trick their audiences.
Overall
, there
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
always been different perspectives on
people
’s attitude toward
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
advertising, some of
which
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
find
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advertising a mind game which
tricks
people
into buying goods, but
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
others have the complete opposite view and prioritize human consciousness over the power the advertising carries.
Submitted by eyvaziniloofar on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and is elaborated with sufficient detail. The use of specific examples is good, but aim to include more varied and in-depth examples to further support your points. Try to avoid repetition and strive for a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing techniques.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task, ensuring that your opinion is clear throughout the essay. While you have presented an overview of both views and given your own opinion, make sure your position is consistently and clearly presented throughout your response with a balanced discussion of both sides.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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