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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of a svrvey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Austrian cities

The chart below shows the results of a svrvey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Austrian cities
#results #svrvey #people #coffee #tea #habits #five #austrian #cities
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This
Linking Words
 pie chart displays how much
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
tea and
coffee
Use synonyms
consumed
Add a missing verb
is consumed
show examples
 by the population
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
cities
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Australia. The x-axis shows the five
cities
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane,
Adalaide
Correct your spelling
Adelaide
 and Hobart
while
Linking Words
 the y-axis illustrates the percentage of city
people
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is very clear that in all five
cities
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 are interested
to buy
Change preposition
in buying
show examples
 drinks directly from the café in the
last
Linking Words
 four weeks.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
analysis
Add a comma
analysis,
show examples
 64% of
people
Use synonyms
 from Melbourne and 62% from Sydney went to café for drinks when
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 with the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who bought fresh or
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 during
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 32 days.
However
Linking Words
, those who paid for the
instant
Use synonyms
 and fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 from Syndey and Melbourne are almost similar with a slight difference in
range
Correct article usage
the range
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
. Alternatively, 34% of
people
Use synonyms
 paid for fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in Brisbane and Adelaide. But in
Adelaid
Correct your spelling
Adelaide
 Almost 50% took brand new
coffee
Use synonyms
 and
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, 63% of humans from Hobart got
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea straight from the shop,
like wise
Correct your spelling
likewise
show examples
 less than 40% took fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 and 54% got
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 in
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 4 weeks. To summarise, though
people
Use synonyms
 from these five
cities
Use synonyms
 have different drinking habits
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
most of them
preferred
Wrong verb form
prefer
show examples
 to drink
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea directly from the shop.
Submitted by jennimanu926 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, cities, people, instant with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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