BULLYING BEHAVIOR HAS BECOME A MAJOR PRLEM AT SCHOOLS. WHAT ARE THE CAUSES AND SOLUTIONS TO THE PROBLEM?

#behavior #prlem #schools

In modern society,

violence

in schools is rising and playground bullying seems to be increasing. The issue is whether or not parents deal with

this

problem by teaching their

offsprings

Fix the agreement mistake

offspring

show examples

Correct your spelling

not

show examples

to fight back. The arguments on both sides of

debate

Add an article

the debate

show examples

need to

be examine

Change the verb form

be examined

show examples

carefully. Many people believe that

violence

only breeds

further

violence

. Evidence for

this

is found in

researchs

Correct your spelling

research

researches

which shows that students who grow up in violent families often tend to be violent themself.

Furthermore

, some children may enjoy

yhe

Correct your spelling

the

power associated with

violence

and develop into bullies.

However

, there are examples of bullying stopped

as a result

of victims hitting back.

This

examines that there are occasions

which

Change preposition

in which

show examples

violence

may help to end

bulliying

Correct your spelling

bullying

Along with

, looking at the issues in the long term, there is a strong case for supporting parents who promote anti-

violence

behaviour. If children learn that there are other ways of solving

disagrrement

Correct your spelling

disagreement

disagreements

then

it is possible that when those children become adults, they will behave

similarly

and try to solve the conflicts through discussion and compromise rather than by force. In my view,

this

Correct article usage

a powerfull

show examples

powerfull

Correct your spelling

powerful

argument for encouraging a non-vıolent approach to school bullies.

To sum up

, Another

aspects

Replace the adjective

aspect

show examples

this

issue is the fact that bullying occurs

Change preposition

during

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

school time when parents

not

Add a missing verb

are not

show examples

present.

Hence

, it could be argued that it is better for schools to deal with

this

problem by promoting anti-bullying policies and offering

supports

Fix the agreement mistake

support

show examples

to victims.

Submitted by nurullahgultekin3451 on Fri Dec 22 2023

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structure

Ensure the essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction needs to succinctly present the main topic and the writer's view, while the conclusion should effectively summarize the arguments made.

cohesion

Focus on creating well-organized paragraphs with a clear main idea and supporting sentences that develop that idea. Transition words should be used to guide the reader through the arguments.

task completion

Address the questions fully by discussing both the causes of bullying and the potential solutions. Provide detailed examples and explanations for each point made.

language

Use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and to keep the reader engaged.

accuracy

Check your work for spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors that can detract from the clarity and professionalism of your writing. Researchs should be changed to 'research,' and 'offsprings' to 'offspring.'

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

241 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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BULLYING BEHAVIOR HAS BECOME A MAJOR PRLEM AT SCHOOLS. WHAT ARE THE CAUSES AND SOLUTIONS TO THE PROBLEM?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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