Write about the following topic: In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

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Many people all around the world are deciding to migrate from rural areas to urban areas. I believe the disadvantages of
this
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event outweigh the advantages.
It is clear that
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by
this
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migration, the population of the countryside is decreasing,
as a result
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, it will stop agricultural growth so there might be a risk to the food chain of humans.
For example
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, with a lack of labourers to work on farms, there will be a shortage in the amount of necessary nutrition for human bodies. I believe there are some reasons which drive people to move to the cities, like the lack of facilities and secure jobs in the suburbs.
Although
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from the rural perspective,
this
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decision seems reasonable in order to experience a better life, It is going to have some consequences.
By
Change preposition
Of
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this
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phenomenon, the population of urban areas is rapidly growing and governments
couldn't
Wrong verb form
can't
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adapt themselves to
this
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situation,
thus
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the air will become more polluted and streets will be overcrowded and congested. It is expected there is going to be less space for housing in cities, so citizens will be forced to live in tiny apartments.
Finally
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, individuals' mental health would be affected since there is no space for living
,
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apply
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and no fresh air for breathing. In conclusion, the population growth
that is
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happening in the cities
due to
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the movements from villages to the towns will have negative impacts on both the economy and satisfaction level of nations.
Submitted by ziba.gharehnazifam on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all supporting sentences are directly related to this central idea. This will strengthen the coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
While you have an introduction and conclusion, both could be more effectively constructed to clearly reflect your stance and summarize your main points. Develop your conclusion further to succinctly encapsulate your arguments.
task achievement
Aim to provide concrete, specific examples to support each point you make. This will help illustrate your ideas more vividly and make your arguments more convincing.
task achievement
To improve your task achievement, develop your arguments fully to ensure the response is complete and extends beyond stating the problem by exploring more deeply the implications and proposing potential solutions or mitigations.
task achievement
Your essay would benefit from further development and support for each main point. Providing a more comprehensive exploration of your ideas with supporting details can help demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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