Write about the following topic: In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#topic #countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development

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Many people all around the world are deciding to migrate from rural areas to urban areas. I believe the disadvantages of

this

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event outweigh the advantages.

It is clear that

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this

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migration, the population of the countryside is decreasing,

as a result

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, it will stop agricultural growth so there might be a risk to the food chain of humans.

For example

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, with a lack of labourers to work on farms, there will be a shortage in the amount of necessary nutrition for human bodies. I believe there are some reasons which drive people to move to the cities, like the lack of facilities and secure jobs in the suburbs.

Although

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from the rural perspective,

this

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decision seems reasonable in order to experience a better life, It is going to have some consequences.

Change preposition

show examples

this

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phenomenon, the population of urban areas is rapidly growing and governments

couldn't

Wrong verb form

can't

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adapt themselves to

this

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situation,

thus

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the air will become more polluted and streets will be overcrowded and congested. It is expected there is going to be less space for housing in cities, so citizens will be forced to live in tiny apartments.

Finally

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, individuals' mental health would be affected since there is no space for living

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apply

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and no fresh air for breathing. In conclusion, the population growth

that is

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happening in the cities

due to

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the movements from villages to the towns will have negative impacts on both the economy and satisfaction level of nations.

Submitted by ziba.gharehnazifam on Fri Dec 22 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all supporting sentences are directly related to this central idea. This will strengthen the coherence of your essay.

coherence cohesion

While you have an introduction and conclusion, both could be more effectively constructed to clearly reflect your stance and summarize your main points. Develop your conclusion further to succinctly encapsulate your arguments.

task achievement

Aim to provide concrete, specific examples to support each point you make. This will help illustrate your ideas more vividly and make your arguments more convincing.

task achievement

To improve your task achievement, develop your arguments fully to ensure the response is complete and extends beyond stating the problem by exploring more deeply the implications and proposing potential solutions or mitigations.

task achievement

Your essay would benefit from further development and support for each main point. Providing a more comprehensive exploration of your ideas with supporting details can help demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

243 words

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Word Count

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some schools are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pupils, while other schools have a very relaxed dress code.

Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve sales of products that people do not really need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the environment as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

Lack of fresh water is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. what problems does this shortage cause? what measures could be taken to overcome these problems?