Some people believe that the government should fund art and culture, while others think that is should only fund sciences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The debate regarding
government
expenditure has often
centered
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centred
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around whether it is more beneficial to finance the arts and
culture
sector or solely focus on the scientific disciplines. I firmly agree that
government
funding should prioritize
art
and
culture
, as they are fundamental to
preserve
Wrong verb form
preserving
show examples
national
identity
and stimulating economic growth. Some advocate for exclusive
government
funding of sciences
due to
the tangible
benefits
in
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of
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technological advancement and health improvements. Proponents of
this
perspective argue that scientific
endeavors
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endeavours
show examples
offer measurable progress and practical
benefits
to society.
However
,
this
view overlooks the intrinsic value of cultural
identity
and the non-material
benefits
that
art
and
culture
provide upon a society.
For instance
,
while
scientific projects
such
as space exploration are exalted, they often do not provide immediate or widespread
benefits
to the general populace, unlike cultural initiatives that directly enhance communal life and cohesion. The support of
art
and
culture
by the
government
is essential, as these sectors are pillars of national
identity
and social unity.
Art
and cultural initiatives promote diversity, tolerance, and understanding among the populace, which is not typically a focus of scientific research.The funding of the Tumurun Museum, a cultural establishment, not only preserves a vast array of Indonesian heritage but
also
serves as an educational resource and tourist attraction, contributing to both cultural understanding and economic sustainability. The argument for exclusive science funding,
while
strong in its advocacy for progress, lacks recognition of the immediate cultural and societal
benefits
. The profound impact of
art
and
culture
on national
identity
and economic vitality is undeniable and deserves
government
funding. Given the comprehensive
benefits
of cultural enrichment to society,
it is clear that
government
funding should prioritize the arts and
culture
sector over science alone.
Submitted by rizqifdh on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with distinguishable introduction and conclusion. To enhance coherence, ensure that there is a smooth flow of ideas from one paragraph to the next. Use a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas more effectively.
Task Achievement
You have addressed the prompt by presenting a clear position on the topic. However, task achievement could be improved by discussing both views as the prompt requires. Ensure that both perspectives on government funding are explored before presenting your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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