Many working people get little or no exercise eitther during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

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Purpose
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The purpose
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of
this
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eassay
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essay
explain
about
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that
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many working
people
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get little or no exercise either during the working
dayor
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day or
day
in their free
time
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, and have health problems
as a result
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. In 2023,Many
people
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are
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will be
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working in industries,sports and software companies and in the Government sector.Agriculture
also
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including
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included
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in
this
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brief.Nowadays we are working for foreign countries that have companies in India.We are using foreign products on day to day life.The working culture of the
people
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was
adopted
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adapted
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to foreign life like
USA
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the USA
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,UK and United
nations
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Nations
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.Few companies
running
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run
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plant
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plants
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with
lesser
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fewer
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employees
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than
requied
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required
.
That is
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a reason for
workload
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the workload
a workload
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to
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for
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all
employees
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.Many working
people
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not
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do not
did not
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get enough
time
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to do exercise. The manager has
allocating
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allocated
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work
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for
employees
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.They are
giving
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given
show examples
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time
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a time
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period to complete the task.
Then
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also
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some of the working
people
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unable to complete the
work
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at
time
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point.In between, except
tea
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for tea
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break
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breaks
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and lunch,they are not getting
time
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to do exercise. To solve
this
Linking Words
problem,we have to use
smartphone
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a smartphone
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app
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apps
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that
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are conected
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conected
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connected
to
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the smartwatch
a smartwatch
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smartwatch
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smartwatches
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.
Then
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we can measure
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the calories
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calories
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calorie
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count,number of steps, heart rate and how much water have to take at which
time
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is
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are
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getting by alert.In between
work
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,we have to spend
few
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a few
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minutes for relaxation like yoga.
TRhe
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The
manager after assigned
work
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we have to plan
accordingly
Linking Words
for when we have to leave a job.In
the
Correct determiner usage
this
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case,we have to spend
time
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for tea break or lunch whatever it may be.
Example
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For example
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: Company
culure
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culture
should be more friendly to
employees
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such
Linking Words
as
google
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Google
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,Apple and
yahoo
Capitalize word
Yahoo
show examples
etc
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
Submitted by insighttribez on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure with an identifiable introduction, body, and conclusion. It's essential to organize your thoughts coherently with clear paragraphing.
coherence cohesion
Main points were not sufficiently developed, and links between ideas were unclear. Using topic sentences and clear supporting details can strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
There was a failure to fully address the provided essay prompts. Both parts of the question need to be answered: reasons for the lack of exercise and measures to counteract this problem. Elaborate on both these aspects in your response.
task achievement
Ideas were presented, but the clarity and comprehensiveness of them were problematic. Strive to present your arguments in a way that is easily understandable, with undistorted facts and clear rhetoric.
task achievement
The inclusion of specific, relevant examples would enhance your response. Use real-world instances or plausible scenarios to support your claims and ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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