Many working people get little or no exercise eitther during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?
Purpose
of Correct article usage
The purpose
this
eassay
explain Correct your spelling
essay
about
many working Correct word choice
that
people
get little or no exercise either during the working dayor
in their free Correct your spelling
day or
day
time
, and have health problems as a result
.
In 2023,Many people
are
working in industries,sports and software companies and in the Government sector.Agriculture Wrong verb form
will be
also
including
in Wrong verb form
included
this
brief.Nowadays we are working for foreign countries that have companies in India.We are using foreign products on day to day life.The working culture of the people
was adopted
to foreign life like Correct your spelling
adapted
USA
,UK and United Correct article usage
the USA
nations
.Few companies Capitalize word
Nations
running
Wrong verb form
run
plant
with Fix the agreement mistake
plants
lesser
Correct word choice
fewer
employees
than requied
.Correct your spelling
required
That is
a reason for workload
Add an article
the workload
a workload
to
all Change preposition
for
employees
.Many working people
not
get enough Change the verb form
do not
did not
time
to do exercise.
The manager has allocating
Wrong verb form
allocated
work
for employees
.They are giving
Wrong verb form
given
time
period to complete the task.Correct article usage
a time
Then
also
some of the working people
unable to complete the work
at time
point.In between, except tea
Change preposition
for tea
break
and lunch,they are not getting Fix the agreement mistake
breaks
time
to do exercise.
To solve this
problem,we have to use smartphone
Add an article
a smartphone
app
that Fix the agreement mistake
apps
Add a missing verb
are conected
conected
to Correct your spelling
connected
Add an article
the smartwatch
a smartwatch
smartwatch
.Fix the agreement mistake
smartwatches
Then
we can measure Correct article usage
the calories
calories
count,number of steps, heart rate and how much water have to take at which Fix the agreement mistake
calorie
time
is
getting by alert.In between Correct subject-verb agreement
are
work
,we have to spend few
minutes for relaxation like yoga.Correct article usage
a few
TRhe
manager after assigned Correct your spelling
The
work
we have to plan accordingly
for when we have to leave a job.In the
case,we have to spend Correct determiner usage
this
time
for tea break or lunch whatever it may be.Example
: Company Change preposition
For example
culure
should be more friendly to Correct your spelling
culture
employees
such
as google
,Apple and Capitalize word
Google
yahoo
etcCapitalize word
Yahoo
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
Submitted by insighttribez on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure with an identifiable introduction, body, and conclusion. It's essential to organize your thoughts coherently with clear paragraphing.
coherence cohesion
Main points were not sufficiently developed, and links between ideas were unclear. Using topic sentences and clear supporting details can strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
There was a failure to fully address the provided essay prompts. Both parts of the question need to be answered: reasons for the lack of exercise and measures to counteract this problem. Elaborate on both these aspects in your response.
task achievement
Ideas were presented, but the clarity and comprehensiveness of them were problematic. Strive to present your arguments in a way that is easily understandable, with undistorted facts and clear rhetoric.
task achievement
The inclusion of specific, relevant examples would enhance your response. Use real-world instances or plausible scenarios to support your claims and ideas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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