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Band 4

In many western countries there are an increasing number of couples choosing to have no children. What advantages and disadvantages to couples no children

#countries #couples #children
There are a
lot
 of
couples
 in our
life
 prefer to live
with out
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
kids
 and
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same time there are a
lot
 of
couples
love
Correct pronoun usage
who love
show examples
 to be
famouse
Correct your spelling
famous
 with their
children
 .I strongly disagree
this
Change preposition
with this
show examples
 affirmation for two reasons ,
firstly
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
kids
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a beautiful thing in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
secondly
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the end
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
couples
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
with out
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
children
 will
be face
Change the verb form
face
show examples
Correct your spelling
a lot
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of challenges in their
life
 On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand some
famouse
Correct your spelling
famous
 people think that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
 is better
with out
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
children
 because they will travel
freedom
Replace the word
freely
show examples
with out
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
 any
difficults
Correct your spelling
difficulties
difficult
difficulty
 as we know
travel
Wrong verb form
travelling
show examples
 with
children
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
 easy .
For example
 , some
children
 because of
change
Correct article usage
the change
show examples
 of their place
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will be sick ,
not
Correct word choice
and not
show examples
 feel comfortable and
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of them feel fear
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 new people .
In
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 some of
wife
Add an article
the wife
show examples
 are worried if they have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
kids
will
Remove a modal verb
apply
show examples
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
 will change
to
Correct your spelling
too
show examples
bad
Change the word
badly
show examples
 and will be fat and have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their hair or their teeth .
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 they think if they have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
children
a child
show examples
children
 they can not take a
video
Fix the agreement mistake
videos
show examples
 or photos any time and they can not
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
sleep lately because they will be
assossuted
Correct your spelling
associated
 with their family . On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand , I think
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
 is better and
wounderfull
Correct your spelling
wonderful
 with
kids
 because they have
ability
Change the article
the ability
show examples
 to make their parents have a strong relationship . A
lot
 of
couples
 became
famouse
Correct your spelling
famous
 because of their
children
 .
In
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
children
 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
spontaneity shots and because of
them
Add a comma
them,
show examples
 their videos
arrived
Verb problem
are
show examples
explore
Wrong verb form
explored
show examples
 and have millions of followers in
one
one
 day only .
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 I remember
one
 couple became
famouse
Correct your spelling
famous
 because of their son because he has
ability
Change the article
the ability
show examples
 to make people lough for a long time . In conclusion , I strongly disagree
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
life
with out
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
children
 is better than
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
kids
 ,
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
there are a
lot
 of
famouse
Correct your spelling
famous
 family are
successed
Correct your spelling
successful
 and have a
lot
 of fans .
Submitted by fatmaalraqadi579 on

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Introduction
Your essay fails to offer a clear introduction that outlines your position on the topic. An effective IELTS essay would require a clear introduction, in which the writer's opinion on the advantages and disadvantages of having children is explicitly outlined. Try to use a thesis statement that gives a roadmap to the reader on what to expect in the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay's structure is challenging to follow. Coherence is achieved when ideas flow logically from one to the next, and cohesion refers to the use of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs together. To improve, use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph, and use conjunctions and referencing words to maintain continuity between ideas.
Task Response
You have made an attempt to discuss both views on the topic, which is a good start. To fully achieve the task, ensure that you discuss the advantages and disadvantages equally. The essay should also include a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates your position, providing a complete response.
What to do next:
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