In many western countries there are an increasing number of couples choosing to have no children. What advantages and disadvantages to couples no children
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Introduction
Your essay fails to offer a clear introduction that outlines your position on the topic. An effective IELTS essay would require a clear introduction, in which the writer's opinion on the advantages and disadvantages of having children is explicitly outlined. Try to use a thesis statement that gives a roadmap to the reader on what to expect in the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay's structure is challenging to follow. Coherence is achieved when ideas flow logically from one to the next, and cohesion refers to the use of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs together. To improve, use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph, and use conjunctions and referencing words to maintain continuity between ideas.
Task Response
You have made an attempt to discuss both views on the topic, which is a good start. To fully achieve the task, ensure that you discuss the advantages and disadvantages equally. The essay should also include a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates your position, providing a complete response.