Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos while others say that there are good reasons for having zoos. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

#people #animals #zoos

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The wild

Correct article usage

Wild

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animals

Use synonyms

Change the verb form

are

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crucial across the world. Some claim that wild creatures should not be kept in

zoos

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while

Linking Words

others say that there are good reasons for having

zoos

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in nations. I strongly agree with the former opinion for the following reasons. On the one hand, wild species should not be kept in

zoos

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because many

animals

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are getting diseases and dying

due to

Linking Words

lack of space.

This

Linking Words

means

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

wild

Correct word choice

that wild

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animals

Use synonyms

are

keeping

Wrong verb form

kept

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in small cages and spaces

while

Linking Words

many cannot survive longer as compared to

survive

Wrong verb form

surviving

show examples

forest

Fix the agreement mistake

forests

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, tigers are affected enormously when it keeps in

zoos

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for the reason

lack

Change preposition

of lack

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of space. These

animals

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should not be kept in

zoos

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On the other hand

Linking Words

, having

zoos

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in countries

for attracting

Wrong verb form

attracts

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and

boosting

Wrong verb form

boosts

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the tourism sector in order to gain more earnings from

this

Linking Words

. To clarify, many tourists like to see the rare

animals

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zoos

Use synonyms

therrlefore

Correct your spelling

therefore

, they travel from far away.

For instance

Linking Words

, the rare species of chines panda, Indian tiger and

Africa

Replace the word

African

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rhino are kept in

zoos

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for attracting

Change preposition

to attract

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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tourists unlike they cannot see it anywhere.

Hence

Linking Words

, having

zoos

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in nations the important reason is attracting the

traveler

Change the spelling

traveller

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to gain more earnings. Both

view

Change to a plural noun

views

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put forward valid points,

however

Linking Words

, I strongly believe that

zoos

Use synonyms

are

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

not

place

Correct article usage

a place

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for wild

animals

Use synonyms

and they should be

independently

Change the word

independent

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in their natural places which is

forest

Fix the agreement mistake

forests

show examples

The rare

Correct article usage

Rare

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animals

Use synonyms

and creatures have to be protected by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

wild animal conservation

instead

Linking Words

zoos

Use synonyms

. The authorities should

lookafter

Correct your spelling

look after

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

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reservation places.

To conclude

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

some people think that

zoos

Use synonyms

can get more earnings from tourism, I feel that wild

animals

Use synonyms

should not be kept in

cage

Fix the agreement mistake

cages

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instead

Linking Words

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

should

protect

Wrong verb form

be protected

show examples

in wild animal reservation locations.

Submitted by reanudeepan on Sat Dec 23 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks a strong, clear structure which makes it difficult to follow at times. The introduction is present, but the thesis statement is weak, and the conclusion is simplistic. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and develop it coherently with relevant details.

task achievement

The essay makes an attempt to address the task by discussing both views and providing a personal opinion. However, the ideas need to be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Provide a balanced discussion of both views before presenting your opinion for a more complete response.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

289 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

captivity
natural habitat
artificial enclosures
genetic diversity
animal welfare
conservation efforts
endangered species
biodiversity
education platform
breeding programs
reintroduction
psychological suffering

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Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos while others say that there are good reasons for having zoos. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The ownership of car should be restricted to one per family in order to reduce traffic congestion and pollution. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

The growth of multinational companies and the resulting rise of globalization creates positive effect for all. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Some people believe that school children should be given homework by their teachers, whereas others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.