Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos while others say that there are good reasons for having zoos. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

#people #animals #zoos

The wild

Correct article usage

Wild

show examples

animals

Change the verb form

are

show examples

crucial across the world. Some claim that wild creatures should not be kept in

zoos

while

others say that there are good reasons for having

zoos

in nations. I strongly agree with the former opinion for the following reasons. On the one hand, wild species should not be kept in

zoos

because many

animals

are getting diseases and dying

due to

lack of space.

This

means

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

wild

Correct word choice

that wild

show examples

animals

are

keeping

Wrong verb form

kept

show examples

in small cages and spaces

while

many cannot survive longer as compared to

survive

Wrong verb form

surviving

show examples

forest

Fix the agreement mistake

forests

show examples

For example

, tigers are affected enormously when it keeps in

zoos

for the reason

lack

Change preposition

of lack

show examples

of space. These

animals

should not be kept in

zoos

On the other hand

, having

zoos

in countries

for attracting

Wrong verb form

attracts

show examples

and

boosting

Wrong verb form

boosts

show examples

the tourism sector in order to gain more earnings from

this

. To clarify, many tourists like to see the rare

animals

zoos

therrlefore

Correct your spelling

therefore

, they travel from far away.

For instance

, the rare species of chines panda, Indian tiger and

Africa

Replace the word

African

show examples

rhino are kept in

zoos

for attracting

Change preposition

to attract

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

tourists unlike they cannot see it anywhere.

Hence

, having

zoos

in nations the important reason is attracting the

traveler

Change the spelling

traveller

show examples

to gain more earnings. Both

view

Change to a plural noun

views

show examples

put forward valid points,

however

, I strongly believe that

zoos

are

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

not

place

Correct article usage

a place

show examples

for wild

animals

and they should be

independently

Change the word

independent

show examples

in their natural places which is

forest

Fix the agreement mistake

forests

show examples

The rare

Correct article usage

Rare

show examples

animals

and creatures have to be protected by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

wild animal conservation

instead

zoos

. The authorities should

lookafter

Correct your spelling

look after

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

reservation places.

To conclude

although

some people think that

zoos

can get more earnings from tourism, I feel that wild

animals

should not be kept in

cage

Fix the agreement mistake

cages

show examples

instead

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

should

protect

Wrong verb form

be protected

show examples

in wild animal reservation locations.

Submitted by reanudeepan on Sat Dec 23 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks a strong, clear structure which makes it difficult to follow at times. The introduction is present, but the thesis statement is weak, and the conclusion is simplistic. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and develop it coherently with relevant details.

task achievement

The essay makes an attempt to address the task by discussing both views and providing a personal opinion. However, the ideas need to be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Provide a balanced discussion of both views before presenting your opinion for a more complete response.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

289 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

captivity
natural habitat
artificial enclosures
genetic diversity
animal welfare
conservation efforts
endangered species
biodiversity
education platform
breeding programs
reintroduction
psychological suffering

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Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos while others say that there are good reasons for having zoos. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Men and women are different in terms of their characteristics and abilities. For this reason, some jobs are better done by men and others by women. Do you agree or disagree?

Some cities create new housing for their growing populations by constructing a small number of high-rise buildings. Other cities create more of low-rise buildings. Which solution is better, in your opinion

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents choosing to self-educate their children at home rather than sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?

In many workplaces, online communication is becoming more commonplace than face-to-face meetings. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

some people feel young people should follow traditions of their societies, others believe that young people should be free to behave as individuals. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.