When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out . It is pointless to try and keep them alive . To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#country #technology #skills #life

It is an undeniable fact that traditional skill plays a paramount role in

Correct article usage

a nation

show examples

nation

Change noun form

nation's

show examples

progress. When a country

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

its technology, the

long established

Add a hyphen

long-established

show examples

skills and ways of life vanish. It is fruitless to try and keep them alive.

This

essay

emphasis

Replace the word

emphasises

show examples

towards major inclination of agreement and disagreement which shall be comprehended

further

. To commence with, there are multifarious benefits behind it. First and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

foremost

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

, art and sculpture

illustrates

Change the verb form

illustrate

show examples

the

nation

Change noun form

nation's

show examples

speciality and

attract

Change the verb form

attracts

show examples

people from internationally. To

examplify

Correct your spelling

exemplify

it;

silk

Correct article usage

a silk

show examples

saree

made

Add a missing verb

is made

show examples

with silk womd saliva and

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is designed

hand

Add the particle

to hand

show examples

made which is very famous

Change preposition

apply

show examples

all around India, and

this

saree

sold

Add a missing verb

is sold

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

Surat city only.

Moreover

now a days

Correct the word

nowadays

show examples

hand made

statueare

Correct your spelling

statue are

statue

statuary

disappeared,

Correct word choice

and it

show examples

required

Wrong verb form

requires

show examples

intense skill to make them . To cite an example;before the smart era , every statue of

temple

Add an article

the temple

a temple

show examples

or any legend

made

Add a missing verb

was made

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

with one single stone .

Although

, there are

plethora

Add an article

a plethora

show examples

of positive reasons behind it.,

it's

Correct your spelling

Its

show examples

negative consequences could not be ignored. The pivotal factor is , in

developed

Add an article

the developed

a developed

show examples

Fix the agreement mistake

countries

show examples

country

Add a comma

country,

show examples

they

using

Wrong verb form

use

show examples

advance

Replace the word

advanced

show examples

technology to make work faster and

preciously

Correct quantifier usage

more preciously

show examples

. To illustrate it; internationally clothes are made in coded stitch

machine

Fix the agreement mistake

machines

show examples

which

provide

Change the verb form

provides

show examples

different

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

design

Fix the agreement mistake

designs

show examples

and

varities

Correct your spelling

varieties

To conclude

nevertheless

, those are plenty of traditional skills,

such

hand made

Correct your spelling

handmade

show examples

saree and statue,

this

essay restates

towards

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the matter

Change preposition

apply

show examples

supporting

idea

Correct article usage

the idea

show examples

that automation is a burning issue

Submitted by renis1795 on Sat Dec 23 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear logical structure, with ideas and paragraphs not flowing smoothly from one to the next. It is important to have a clear introduction, several coherent body paragraphs, and a conclusion that summarises the main points.

task achievement

The essay fails to address the task appropriately. The response is incomplete, as it does not sufficiently develop arguments or provide a clear position on the given topic. You must ensure you have a clear opinion and that this is supported throughout your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
42Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

234 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

Technological advancement
Efficiency
Global connectivity
Cultural identity
Diversity
Innovation
Coexist
Sustainable
Eco-friendly
Energy-intensive
Practical skills
Self-sufficiency
Homogenize
Preservation
Global diversity

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
In most countries, with the widespread of the use of Internet, people have more freedom to choose to work at home instead of travelling to work. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, more and more companies let their employees work from home instead of going to the office with long commuting. I think this measure has more positive influences.
8.5
band
many graduates want to start their first job in a big corporation. many others prefer to work for a small company first. compare and contrast their choices and express your opinion
There are conflicting views on whether individuals after graduating should land a job in small-size groups or large-scale ones. Although almost all people are fond of working for popular and big corporates, it is sensible that at the initial stages after graduation, graduates seek jobs at small-size companies.
5.5
band
Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
These days there is an argument about a lot of choices we face. I strongly agree with this statement because thanks to technology has jumped up over the years which can provide information and reconnect with people’s relatives in many ways which brings humanity to many choices.
7.5
band
Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Although it is sometimes thought that schools ought to teach children to compete, other people believe that the focus should be on cooperation. In my opinion, I consider that competition helps children learn the most important skills for their future life.
5
band
MANY YOUNG PEOPLE SPEND MUCH OF THEIR FREE TIME IN SHOPPING MALLS.THIS HAS A NEGATIVE EFFECT ON THEM AND SOCIETY. TO WHAT EXTEND DO YOU AGREE OR DIS AGREE?
Young generations are considered to be the next leaders all over the globe. Some peoonclusion.

When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out . It is pointless to try and keep them alive . To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

In most countries, with the widespread of the use of Internet, people have more freedom to choose to work at home instead of travelling to work. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

many graduates want to start their first job in a big corporation. many others prefer to work for a small company first. compare and contrast their choices and express your opinion

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

MANY YOUNG PEOPLE SPEND MUCH OF THEIR FREE TIME IN SHOPPING MALLS.THIS HAS A NEGATIVE EFFECT ON THEM AND SOCIETY. TO WHAT EXTEND DO YOU AGREE OR DIS AGREE?