When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out . It is pointless to try and keep them alive . To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is an undeniable fact that traditional skill plays a paramount role in
Correct article usage
a nation
show examples
nation
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nation's
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progress. When a country
make
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makes
show examples
its technology, the
long established
Add a hyphen
long-established
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skills and ways of life vanish. It is fruitless to try and keep them alive.
This
essay
emphasis
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emphasises
show examples
towards major inclination of agreement and disagreement which shall be comprehended
further
. To commence with, there are multifarious benefits behind it. First and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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foremost
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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, art and sculpture
illustrates
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illustrate
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the
nation
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nation's
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speciality and
attract
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attracts
show examples
people from internationally. To
examplify
Correct your spelling
exemplify
it;
silk
Correct article usage
a silk
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saree
made
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is made
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with silk womd saliva and
it
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apply
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is designed
hand
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to hand
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made which is very famous
in
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apply
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all around India, and
this
saree
sold
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is sold
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by
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in
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Surat city only.
Moreover
,
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
hand made
statueare
Correct your spelling
statue are
statue
statuary
disappeared,
it
Correct word choice
and it
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required
Wrong verb form
requires
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intense skill to make them . To cite an example;before the smart era , every statue of
temple
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the temple
a temple
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or any legend
made
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was made
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by
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apply
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with one single stone .
Although
, there are
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
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of positive reasons behind it.,
it's
Correct your spelling
Its
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negative consequences could not be ignored. The pivotal factor is , in
developed
Add an article
the developed
a developed
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Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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country
Add a comma
country,
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they
using
Wrong verb form
use
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advance
Replace the word
advanced
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technology to make work faster and
preciously
Correct quantifier usage
more preciously
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. To illustrate it; internationally clothes are made in coded stitch
machine
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machines
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which
provide
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provides
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different
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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of
design
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designs
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and
varities
Correct your spelling
varieties
.
To conclude
,
nevertheless
, those are plenty of traditional skills,
such
as
hand made
Correct your spelling
handmade
show examples
saree and statue,
this
essay restates
towards
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the matter
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
supporting
idea
Correct article usage
the idea
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that automation is a burning issue
Submitted by renis1795 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure, with ideas and paragraphs not flowing smoothly from one to the next. It is important to have a clear introduction, several coherent body paragraphs, and a conclusion that summarises the main points.
task achievement
The essay fails to address the task appropriately. The response is incomplete, as it does not sufficiently develop arguments or provide a clear position on the given topic. You must ensure you have a clear opinion and that this is supported throughout your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Technological advancement
  • Efficiency
  • Global connectivity
  • Cultural identity
  • Diversity
  • Innovation
  • Coexist
  • Sustainable
  • Eco-friendly
  • Energy-intensive
  • Practical skills
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Homogenize
  • Preservation
  • Global diversity
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