Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Some people think that parents who send their children to private schools should not pay taxes which support the public education
system
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. Personally, I completely disagree because paying these taxes is a way of helping others and in order to have a prepared and educated society. In most countries around the world, some children attend private schools
while
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others attend public ones funded by taxpayers. Families who can afford a better education should
also
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contribute to the public
system
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. In
this
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way, they help other students with fewer resources access education,
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this
Correct pronoun usage
that
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is to say, they have a social function helping their cohabitants.
For example
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, thanks to the contributions of parents of children who attend private schools, I had the opportunity to study, which made me
being
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apply
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very grateful to these people.
Furthermore
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, contributing to these institutions provides an educational benefit to the country's society. Without
this
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type of scholarship, a large part of the population would likely be illiterate, making the nation a much worse place where no one would be prepared to work.
This
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would impact the economy, among other things.
For instance
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, a study conducted by the University of California's statistics department states that countries where everyone contributes to the educational
system
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have a better-prepared and more educated society.
To conclude
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, I firmly believe that the entire population should pay taxes to the state educational
system
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in order to help people with fewer economic resources and to make their country a better place where everybody is able to study.

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task response
Answer all parts of the task in a more direct way. Say clearly why you fully disagree, and keep this clear in each body part.
task response
Add one or two more clear and real examples. Your examples now are a bit general.
task response
Explain your main ideas a little more. Some points are good, but they need deeper support.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear 4-part structure, which is good. Keep this plan.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Some parts link well, but a few sentences feel a bit long or not fully smooth.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph focus on one main idea only, then explain it step by step.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow because it has clear paragraphs.
task response
Most ideas are relevant to the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • tax exemption
  • public education
  • private schools
  • collective responsibility
  • societal welfare
  • equitable access
  • financial burden
  • social cohesion
  • tax credits
  • vouchers
  • subsidies
  • state-funded
  • socioeconomic disparities
  • public vs. private sector
  • quality of education
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