People today are surrounded by advertisement. This both affects what they think is important to them and is negative in their lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Advertisement
is a marketing strategy where all companies
selling
Wrong verb form
sell
show examples
their products and services to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humans and
advertisement
crucial
Add a missing verb
is crucial
show examples
for life because
people's
Wrong verb form
people are
show examples
aware of new products and information
according to
their interests.
According to
perspective advert important for
people
because it will reduce our problems by seen
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
. I accord with agree
notion
Correct article usage
the notion
show examples
discord
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of discord
show examples
. To start with, the most obvious reason is that
advert
Correct article usage
the advert
show examples
helps to
solved
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solve
show examples
queries
Correct article usage
the queries
show examples
of the customers regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
their needs.
Apart from
this
, Nowadays, technology has
very far
Rephrase
apply
show examples
people
access to social media
sites
like Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest and YouTube so
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
show examples
promote quality
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
goods on social media which helps to attract
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
coustomers
Correct your spelling
customers
.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
if a person
would be learn
Wrong verb form
is learning
show examples
new
Add an article
a new
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language
then
on
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apply
show examples
YouTube
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
of
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
content yet
people
would
visiting
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visit
be visiting
show examples
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
see the
advertisement
.
Further
reinforcing my perspective, Data is main when all social
sites
have great significant data to the users who are spending time on it and
argurithm
Correct your spelling
argument
is very powerful what
people
think and what they purchased or
interested
Add a missing verb
are interested
show examples
.
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in.
show examples
Due to
this
, mindsets
has
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have
show examples
totally changed the way of thinking by mankind yet
this
grab
Wrong verb form
has grabbed
show examples
the attention
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
people
making scams and earning easy money methods.
For instance
, so many betting
sites
are promote
Change the verb form
promote
show examples
services on the internet
where
Rephrase
apply
show examples
all over the world
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
making money
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
but if
people's joined
Wrong verb form
people join
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
sites
then
they
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
all Savings by
doing
Verb problem
making
show examples
bets.
Therefore
,
advertisement
is
Correct article usage
a methods
show examples
methods
Fix the agreement mistake
method
show examples
of promoting rich content in videos and
mysteries
Replace the word
mysterious
show examples
things
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
people
always click
advert
Add an article
the advert
show examples
and see
inside
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the videos.
To conclude
it's affecting a lot of
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
mind all companies and artificial intelligence play
together with
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
by no longer privacy can be maintained for
people
so
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
should be banned who have illegal information and content promote
also
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
benefits not be denied.
Submitted by prit699731 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure and organization, which makes it difficult for the reader to follow the writer's line of thought. To improve coherence, it is crucial to create a logical flow of ideas with clear paragraphs that each tackle one main idea. Transition words and sentences should be used effectively to connect ideas and paragraphs. Make sure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, and that every subsequent sentence in the paragraph relates back to that central idea.
task achievement
The response does not effectively address the prompt, as there is no clear position taken on the extent to which the writer agrees or disagrees with the statement. Your essay should include a clear introduction that states your opinion, followed by body paragraphs that provide reasons supporting your view with relevant examples. The conclusion should then summarize the main points and reiterate your stance, aligning with the arguments presented in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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