People today are surrounded by advertisement. This both affects what they think is important to them and is negative in their lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Advertisement
is a marketing strategy where all companies selling
their products and services to Wrong verb form
sell
the
humans and Correct article usage
apply
advertisement
crucial
for life because Add a missing verb
is crucial
people's
aware of new products and information Wrong verb form
people are
according to
their interests. According to
perspective advert important for people
because it will reduce our problems by seen advertisement
. I accord with agree Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
notion
Correct article usage
the notion
discord
.
To start with, the most obvious reason is that Change preposition
of discord
advert
helps to Correct article usage
the advert
solved
Change the verb
solve
queries
of the customers regarding Correct article usage
the queries
to
their needs. Remove the preposition
apply
Apart from
this
, Nowadays, technology has very far
Rephrase
apply
people
access to social media sites
like Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest and YouTube so organization
promote quality Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
of
goods on social media which helps to attract Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
coustomers
. Correct your spelling
customers
For
example
if a person Add a comma
example,
would be learn
Wrong verb form
is learning
new
language Add an article
a new
then
on
YouTube Change preposition
apply
had
Wrong verb form
has
variety
of Add an article
a variety
education
content yet Replace the word
educational
people
would visiting
Change the verb form
visit
be visiting
by
see the Change preposition
to
advertisement
.
Further
reinforcing my perspective, Data is main when all social sites
have great significant data to the users who are spending time on it and argurithm
is very powerful what Correct your spelling
argument
people
think and what they purchased or interested
Add a missing verb
are interested
.
Change preposition
in.
Due to
this
, mindsets has
totally changed the way of thinking by mankind yet Change the verb form
have
this
grab
the attention Wrong verb form
has grabbed
for
Change preposition
of
people
making scams and earning easy money methods.
For instance
, so many betting sites
are promote
services on the internet Change the verb form
promote
where
all over the world Rephrase
apply
has
making money Unnecessary verb
apply
in
Change preposition
apply
it
but if Correct pronoun usage
apply
people's joined
Wrong verb form
people join
this
Correct determiner usage
these
sites
then
they loss
all Savings by Replace the word
lose
doing
bets. Verb problem
making
Therefore
, advertisement
is Correct article usage
a methods
methods
of promoting rich content in videos and Fix the agreement mistake
method
mysteries
things Replace the word
mysterious
by
Change preposition
apply
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
people
always click advert
and see Add an article
the advert
inside
the videos.
Change preposition
apply
To conclude
it's affecting a lot of human
mind all companies and artificial intelligence play Correct article usage
the human
together with
community
by no longer privacy can be maintained for Add an article
the community
people
so advertisement
should be banned who have illegal information and content promote Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
also
there
benefits not be denied.Correct your spelling
their
Submitted by prit699731 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure and organization, which makes it difficult for the reader to follow the writer's line of thought. To improve coherence, it is crucial to create a logical flow of ideas with clear paragraphs that each tackle one main idea. Transition words and sentences should be used effectively to connect ideas and paragraphs. Make sure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, and that every subsequent sentence in the paragraph relates back to that central idea.
task achievement
The response does not effectively address the prompt, as there is no clear position taken on the extent to which the writer agrees or disagrees with the statement. Your essay should include a clear introduction that states your opinion, followed by body paragraphs that provide reasons supporting your view with relevant examples. The conclusion should then summarize the main points and reiterate your stance, aligning with the arguments presented in the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.