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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much
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The supplied graphs illustrate the average ratio of three types of nutrients
include
Verb problem
apply
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:
sodium
Change preposition
including sodium
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, saturated fat and added
sugar
Use synonyms
exciting
Correct word choice
which are abundant
show examples
 in the daily meals of American citizens and it can be unhealthy if eaten too much.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that dinners and lunches have
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
amount
Use synonyms
 of nutrient
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
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while
Linking Words
 breakfast has the lowest
amount
Use synonyms
. Apart from that,
sugar
Use synonyms
 is mainly high in snacks. In detail, the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sodium taken by Americans in their regular meals is found in dinners at 43% followed by lunchtimes that contain 29% of sodium. Both breakfasts and snakes have the lowest percentages
for
Change preposition
apply
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14%. In a similar fashion, the consumption of saturated fat
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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eaten in dinner
represent
Correct subject-verb agreement
represents
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 37% with less
amount
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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consumed in lunch for about 26%. Snakes and breakfast
recorded
Add a missing verb
were recorded
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21
Change preposition
at 21
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% and 16% respectively. Regarding having
sugar
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
typical meals, American people eat 42% of
sugar
Use synonyms
 in their snacks.
moreover
Linking Words
, 23% is had in the dinnertime.
Sugar
Use synonyms
 content in breakfast and snacks does not exceed 19%.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, amount with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Nutrients
  • Unhealthy
  • Daily intake
  • Percentage
  • Carbohydrates
  • Fats
  • Proteins
  • Meals
  • Balanced diet
  • Consumption
  • Excess
  • Health implications
  • Obesity
  • Diabetes
  • Heart disease
  • Convenience foods
  • Fast foods
  • Socioeconomic factors
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Healthy eating habits
  • Dietary recommendations
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