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Band 5.5

Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #scale
The responsibility of tackling environmental problems is much debated these days.
When
Correct word choice
While
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 some urge a global intervention, others feel that it can be much
effectively
Correct quantifier usage
more effectively
show examples
 addressed when the responsible
countries
 are involved in the process. I feel both views are relevant in diverse situations. On the one hand, the reason why some demand
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
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 for these
issues
 on a global scale is because of the fact that some of the serious
issues
 can hardly be addressed by individual governments. To be precise, in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of tackling crucial
issues
 like global warming and resultant climate change, international co-operation is mandatory. To explain it
further
, annual
submits
Replace the word
submissions
show examples
 on reducing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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carbon emissions are attended by the major industrialised
countries
 which use coal and other fossil fuels. It is very difficult to pass a progressive resolution there as many of these
countries
 have dissimilar views.
On the other hand
, others highlight the history of faster and
effective
Correct quantifier usage
more effective
show examples
 solutions for environmental
issues
 when they are addressed in specific locations, where the
issues
origin
Replace the word
originate
show examples
.
For example
, many arid
countries
 have transformed green in a short span of time when their respective governments have taken
pro-active
Correct your spelling
proactive
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 measures.
Similarly
, many industrialised
countries
 could cut down the use of plastic considerably with stringent laws, which
can
Verb problem
would
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 hardly be possible if it was addressed on a global basis. In short, each country can identify its worst environmental issue and
knows
Correct subject-verb agreement
know
show examples
 the best way to address it. After analysing both ways in detail, today’s environmental
issues
 can be mitigated by both national and international approaches.
However
, I feel it depends on the type of the problem.
Submitted by 13simran1990 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure there is a clear overall progression of ideas and arguments. Although they are identifiable, some connections between ideas could be strengthened with more cohesive devices.
task achievement
Adequate attempt to address all parts of the task although some parts may be more fully covered than others. Develop all parts of your argument equally to avoid imbalance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • international cooperation
  • sovereign rights
  • Paris Agreement
  • climate change
  • ocean pollution
  • collective measures
  • economic interests
  • political will
  • enforcement issues
  • free-riders
  • tailor-made solutions
  • transboundary pollution
  • resource constraints
  • global frameworks
  • national efforts
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